Searching for a Former Clarity
Journey of Acceptance: Embracing Life's Inevitabilities
Lyrics
No the doctors didn't tell you that you were dying.
No disclosure from doctors about impending death.
They just collected their money,
Doctors collected fees without revealing the truth.
And send you on your way.
Patient sent away without full awareness.
But you knew all along.
Patient was aware of their impending death.
Went on pretending nothing was wrong.
Pretending everything was fine despite knowing the truth.
You said I will keep my focus,
Determination to maintain focus until the end.
Till the end.
Commitment to perseverance.
And in the journal you kept,
Journal by the bedside with personal thoughts.
By the side of your bed.
Reference to personal reflections and aspirations.
You wrote nightly an aspiration,
Expressing nightly aspirations of becoming an author.
Of developing as an author.
Confession of childhood secrets.
Confessing childhood secrets,
Revelation about dressing up in women's clothes.
Of dressing up in woman's clothes.
Compulsions with unclear reasons.
Compulsions you never knew the reasons to.
Questioning the basis of relationships.
Will everyone,
Concern about relationships built on false assumptions.
You ever meet or love,
Doubting the authenticity of connections.
Be just a relationship based,
Relationships based on false presumptions.
On a false presumption.
Fear of loneliness in the end.
Despite everyone,
Doubting the authenticity of all connections.
You ever meet or ever love.
Concern about ultimate loneliness.
In the end,
Questioning the impact of disease on solitude.
Will you be all alone?
Reference to the spread of disease through the body.
As the disease spreads slowly through your body,
Fear of mental decline as the disease progresses.
Pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs.
Concern about cognitive decline.
Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last.
Physical manifestations of illness.
The coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade.
The deterioration of physical appearance.
As your hair thinned, as the weight fell off As your teeth blackened as the lesions spotted your skin,
Symbolic representation of decay and decline.
As you fell to your knees in the center of the stage
Falling to one's knees on stage, a metaphor for vulnerability.
As you often witnessed mortality in, exchange for the ticket price.
Witnessing mortality in exchange for entertainment.
As the lights blended into the continuing noise.
Lights and noise blending into a chaotic existence.
As all hope was finally lost,
Loss of hope.
Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition
Last thought as adrenaline surges.
Let this be the end.
Desire for the end of suffering.
Let this be the last song.
Expressing a wish for the last song.
Let this be the end.
Reiteration of the desire for an end.
Let all be forgiven.
Hoping for forgiveness in the final moments.
Comment