hate me
Conflicted Love: Alexa Valentino's Emotional Struggle
Lyrics
You said I was pretty when I couldn't look at myself
You acknowledged my beauty when I was unable to see it myself.
How did you expect me to admit I needed your help
How could you expect me to confess my need for your assistance?
To put on your bandaid would mean that I'm showing my scars
Putting on your bandaid implies revealing my emotional wounds.
And I don't think I'm that far
I don't believe I'm too far gone or beyond help.
You gave me your hand when I knew I was slipping away
You extended your hand when I felt myself slipping away.
That's why I'm conflicted when I hear you ask me to stay
I'm conflicted when you ask me to stay because being a burden is overwhelming.
'Cause being your burden is heavy, a weight I can't bear
Being a burden to you is a heavy weight that I can't handle.
And I don't think that shit's fair
I don't think it's fair for me to burden you.
And you'll never understand
You won't comprehend my struggles fully.
I can't hit the ground if you always save me
If you always rescue me, I can't face the consequences and learn.
I can't move on if you never break me
I can't move forward if you never allow me to experience pain or challenges.
I'm never getting better if your here cause
My improvement is hindered if you're always present.
I'm always feeling better when you're near and
I find comfort when you're close, hindering my progress.
This love's too strong so you gotta hate me
The intensity of this love requires you to hate me for my own good.
I try to be careful when choosing the words that I say
I'm cautious with my words to avoid misinterpretation.
Don't wanna lead you to think of me in a certain way
I don't want you to form a specific perception of me.
In another life I could offer what you want from me
In another life, I could provide what you seek, but my past prevents it.
But I have history
I have a history that I cannot repeat.
That I just can't repeat
Repeating past mistakes is not an option for me.
I can't hit the ground if you always save me
If you always save me, I can't confront my challenges.
I can't move on if you never break me
I can't grow if you shield me from all pain and difficulties.
I'm never getting better if your here cause
I won't get better if you're always present in my struggles.
I'm always feeling better when you're near and
I find solace when you're near, hindering my personal development.
This love's too strong so you gotta hate me
The love is so intense that it requires you to hate me for my own good.
You're just too innocent I'm burning all our bridges
You're too innocent, and I'm intentionally destroying our connection.
You couldn't handle this if you would really listen
If you truly listened, you wouldn't be able to handle the truth.
You never understood all of my bad conditions
You never understood the depth of my struggles and challenges.
And you don't know how bad I wish that I was different
I desperately wish I could be different from who I am.
I was different
I wish I were a different person.
I was different
I wish I were different.
I was, I was
I wish I were.
You said I was pretty when I couldn't look at myself
You noticed my beauty when I couldn't see it myself (repeated).
How did you expect me to admit I needed your help
How could you expect me to admit I needed your help (repeated).
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