Lying to Myself
Broken Promises and Whiskey Nights: Ali Taylor's Lying to Myself Meaning
Lyrics
Say I’m done with that drunk cigarette
Saying I've quit smoking while drunk.
And this month I won’t wait to pay rent
Committing to pay rent without delay this month.
I keep telling my friends I’m doing better and then
Telling friends I'm improving, but not really.
I’m back on my bullshit again
Falling back into old, problematic behavior.
Say that I’ll be in bed before two
Promising to go to bed early.
And this time I’m really over you
Claiming to be truly over a past relationship.
I won’t pick up the phone if you call me again
Refusing to answer calls from a specific person.
But I’ll be over it ten
Getting over it quickly, contrary to the claim.
Swear I won’t be drinking tonight, but you’re on my mind
Vowing not to drink tonight but still thinking about someone.
And it don’t really count when the whiskey’s on ice
Discounting the impact of whiskey on ice.
Try to do what I say, and say what I mean
Trying to align actions with words.
But like you it don’t come all that easy to me
Struggling to be genuine like the person mentioned.
I’m broke no I don’t need your help
Claiming self-sufficiency, not needing assistance.
Oh I keep lying, keep lying to myself
Admitting to continuous self-deception.
Swear that I won’t spend more than I make
Promising not to overspend.
Won’t go shopping till my bills are paid
Delaying shopping until bills are settled.
Won’t be driving on E, pulling up to your street
Ensuring not to drive with an empty tank to a specific location.
Swear I won’t be drinking tonight, but you’re on my mind
Repeating the commitment not to drink but still thinking about someone.
And it don’t really count when the whiskey’s on ice
Downplaying the significance of whiskey on ice.
Try to do what I say, and say what I mean
Struggling to express oneself genuinely.
But like you it don’t come all that easy to me
Acknowledging difficulty in being truthful like the mentioned person.
I’m broke no I don’t need your help
Denying the need for financial assistance.
Oh I keep lying, keep lying to myself
Continuously lying to oneself about various aspects.
And I’m still stayin’ up until 3
Staying awake late, possibly due to personal struggles.
Wishing that this wasn’t me
Wishing for a different reality.
And my bills still aren’t paid if I’m telling the truth
Admitting unpaid bills, hinting at financial difficulties.
I’m still running late and I’m not over you
Being chronically late and not over a past relationship.
Swear I won’t be drinking tonight, but you’re on my mind
Reiterating the commitment not to drink but still thinking about someone.
And it don’t really count when the whiskey’s on ice
Minimizing the impact of whiskey on ice.
Try to do what I say, and say what I mean
Struggling to align actions with intentions.
But like you it don’t come all that easy to me
Expressing difficulty in being truthful like the mentioned person.
I’m broke no I don’t need your help
Asserting financial independence despite challenges.
Oh I keep lying, keep lying to myself
Continuing the pattern of self-deception.
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