Lyrics
I hated it every time
I disliked it every time
The captain is still in my head
The thoughts of the captain persist in my mind
The shadow predicts the fall
A premonition foreshadows the downfall
One last war and then never again
One final conflict, and then a commitment to avoid it in the future
My back to the wall, my back to the wall foreseeable when
Feeling cornered, anticipating challenges
Can I compete? Can I compete?
Questioning one's ability to compete
Can I have permission?
Seeking permission
To dream, come clean, you are the problem
Desiring the freedom to dream and confessing the self as the obstacle
To dream, come clean, you are the problem
Reiterating the internal struggle and self-acknowledgment as a hindrance
You're the solution, you are the problem
Recognizing oneself as both the answer and the problem
You're the solution, you are the problem
Acknowledging the dual role of being the solution and the issue
Find a quiet spot, take your best shot
Suggesting finding solace, taking a chance
A private paradise, your private paradise
Describing an exclusive, personal haven
When life is too long
When life seems prolonged
When life is too long but still too short
Life feels both long and short simultaneously
I hated you every time
Expressing dislike repeatedly
But I never wanted you more
Despite dislike, a strong desire for the person
Drinking the poison itself
Consuming negativity directly
Straight from the lips of a whore
Referring to self-destructive behavior from a deceitful source
Slowly I drown, slowly I drown
Gradual emotional suffocation
Down in the back of the well
Sinking deeper into despair
The poison itself, a chemical mess
Referring to the destructive nature of the negativity
Burning a hole in my head
The impact of negativity creating mental distress
To dream, come clean, you are the problem
Desiring freedom to dream, acknowledging personal hindrance
To dream, come clean, you are the problem
Repeating the internal struggle for emphasis
You're the solution, you are the problem
Recognizing oneself as both the answer and the problem (repeated)
You're the solution, you are the problem
Reiterating the dual role of being the solution and the issue (repeated)
Find a quiet spot, take your best shot
Encouraging finding solace, taking a chance (repeated)
A private paradise, your private paradise
Describing an exclusive, personal haven (repeated)
Let's go
Transitioning to a new theme or emotion
I'm counting away the days
Counting down the days, feeling time slipping away
And it's almost as if life is wasting away
Expressing a sense of life wasting away
And I'm dying inside and I'm killing myself
Internal struggle and self-destructive behavior as a coping mechanism
Just to fill in a void that can never be filled
Sacrificing well-being to fill an unfillable void
Why I'm just a sucker for habits
Admitting vulnerability to habits
I'm ruining everything that I've loved
Repeatedly ruining cherished aspects of life
Over and over
Continuous self-destructive patterns
The process destroying my mind
The ongoing process negatively impacting mental well-being
And a soul I can never get back
Irreversible damage to the soul
You are the problem
Directly attributing the problem to oneself
It's never gonna change
Pessimism about the possibility of change
Find a quiet spot, take your best shot
Encouraging finding solace, taking a chance (repeated)
A private paradise, your private paradise
Describing an exclusive, personal haven (repeated)
Paradise
Emphasizing the concept of a personal paradise
Paradise
Repeating the idea of a personal paradise
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