Santa Got Arrested
Santa's Holiday Lockup: A Yuletide Tale of Legal Jingle Bells
Lyrics
There won't be any presents this Christmas
Anticipation that there will be no Christmas presents this year.
No goodies in your stocking
No treats or gifts in the Christmas stocking.
The milk and cookies that the children left out
The traditional offerings for Santa from children will be ignored.
Will be left untouched beside the sink
Milk and cookies left for Santa will go uneaten.
The reindeer will be staying in their pens this year
Reindeer will not be used for their usual Christmas duties.
The elves haven't built anything
Elves have not been productive in their toy-making tasks.
Cuz Santa got arrested last Christmas Day
Santa's arrest on the previous Christmas is revealed.
The Police got calls on 911
Police received emergency calls reporting Santa's unusual behavior.
About a red-suited man who weighed a ton
Describes Santa as a heavy, red-suited man.
There was a clear trail of evidence pointing North
There is evidence leading the investigation to the North Pole.
It was the seventh time this happened on December twenty-fourth
This is the seventh occurrence on December 24th of a similar incident.
The Mounties reached the North Pole
The Canadian Mounties travel to the North Pole.
They found it was outside the jurisdiction
The North Pole is outside their jurisdiction.
They called up inter-polish Finnish Police
International assistance is sought from Finnish Police.
To facilitate the suspect's extradition
Efforts are made to extradite Santa for prosecution.
They knocked on the door of a well marked shop
A shop with Santa as the owner is targeted.
With a warrant for the owner's apprehension
Legal action is initiated with a warrant for Santa's arrest.
Then Santa got arrested Christmas Day
Confirmation of Santa's arrest on Christmas Day.
Santa was charged with B&E
Santa is charged with Breaking and Entering (B&E).
His council advised he plee guilty
Santa's legal counsel advises him to plead guilty.
There was footage of the crime running on TV
Incriminating footage of Santa's crime is broadcasted on TV.
And photographs of little children sitting on his knee
Photographs show children sitting on Santa's lap, adding to the evidence.
The judge expressed concerned about the risk of recitizenism
The judge is concerned about the potential for Santa to repeat offenses.
His sentence was commuted
Santa's sentence is reduced, possibly due to remorse or other factors.
He got a bond, a non-association with the elves
Conditions for Santa's release include avoiding association with the elves.
And his reindeer licence was suspended
Santa's reindeer license is suspended as part of his punishment.
He says he's giving up all his former life
Santa claims to be abandoning his previous life for a new profession.
And now he wants to be a dental assistant
Expresses Santa's desire to become a dental assistant.
Cuz Santa got arrested
Reiteration of the fact that Santa was arrested.
Santa got arrested
Repetition of the statement that Santa was arrested on Christmas Day.
Santa got arrested last Christmas Day
Confirmation of Santa's arrest on the specified Christmas Day.
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