Security Guard
The Life of a Mall Security Guard
Lyrics
he struts and he swaggers, he's pretty sure
Confident and proud, believes women are attracted to men in uniforms.
that chicks dig a guy in uniform
Thinks that wearing a uniform is appealing to women.
grey flannel pants and wine covered jacket
Wearing specific clothing (grey flannel pants, wine-covered jacket).
the smirk on his face makes you just wanna smack it
The smug expression on his face is irritating.
couldn't be a real cop without the mental wherewithal
Claims to have the mental capacity required for being a real cop.
so he's busting heads down at the shopping mall
Acts like a law enforcer in a shopping mall.
security guard, mr security guard
Repetition of the title, emphasizing his role as a security guard.
always wanted to be authorized personnel
Always dreamt of having authority and special privileges.
he can go through this door and that door as well
Can access various areas due to his authorized status.
he's limiting the loitering and breaking up brouhahas
Controls and prevents disturbances, asserts authority.
he controls your access to santa claus
Jokingly claims to control access to Santa Claus.
his keys jingle jangle as they hang from his belt
Carries keys that make noise as he moves.
for his lunch his mom dropped off a tuna melt
His mom brings him a tuna melt for lunch.
for security guard, mr security guard
Repetition of the title, reaffirming his role.
crisis in the food court, but first he's gotta take a whiz
There's a crisis, but he needs to use the bathroom first.
even though he's inside he's wearing sunglasses
Wears sunglasses indoors, possibly trying to look cool.
sign says floor is slippery and man, it sure is
Ignoring warning signs about a slippery floor.
watch your step, security guard
Warning others about the slippery floor, playing the role of a guard.
just checked the bathrooms and the food court's secure
Claims to have secured the bathrooms and food court.
time to hit on the girls at the vitamin store
Shifts attention to hitting on girls at the vitamin store.
they might remember him as the high school football star
Used to be a high school football star, but now seen differently.
now he's that guy with the neon lights underneath his car
His current image involves flashy lights under his car.
stands around with the other guards comparing flashlights
Socializing with other guards and engaging in trivial comparisons.
"put a quarter in that horsey kid. theres no free rides"
Suggests charging for a carousel ride, asserting control.
security guard
Repetition of the title, emphasizing his role.
wash my car
Asks the guard to wash his car, mocking the authority figure.
put down that cigar
Requests the guard to stop smoking a cigar, a humorous jab.
you're not george peppard
Comparing the guard to George Peppard, a lighthearted criticism.
security guard
Repetition of the title, finalizing the focus on the security guard.
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