Failure to Launch
Embracing Independence: Bella Porter's Journey to Self-Discovery
Lyrics
After a while Im sick of dependence
Expressing frustration with dependence and a desire for independence.
I'm sick of being somebody's problem
Feeling burdened by being seen as a problem by others.
Why does it feel so scary
Questioning the source of fear associated with certain emotions.
To be angry, to want things?
Reflecting on the difficulty of expressing anger and desires.
Is it the fear of rejection?
Speculating whether the fear of rejection is a factor in expressing wants.
Fear of abandonment?
Considering the fear of abandonment as a potential barrier.
Falling from grace with it?
Wondering if expressing oneself leads to a fall from societal expectations.
I'm reaching into myself
Engaging in introspection and self-discovery.
Bringing into the light
Bringing suppressed aspects of oneself into awareness.
Parts that I've repressed
Acknowledging parts of oneself that have been kept hidden.
I'm trying to feel myself
Striving to connect with one's authentic feelings.
For the first time
Expressing a desire to truly feel alive for the first time.
I'm not feeling depressed
Contrasting the present state with past experiences of depression.
I've been trained in the art of coyness
Noting past training in presenting oneself as reserved or modest.
Equating confidence with cockiness
Linking confidence to the fear of being perceived as arrogant.
Holding my hand to my heart and
Physically demonstrating a protective gesture while expressing humility.
Saying I don't deserve attention
Stating a reluctance to seek attention due to perceived unworthiness.
Growing up everyone felt so inclined
Reflecting on societal expectations and pressures during upbringing.
To dress me up and tell me what a woman does
Recalling experiences of being molded into societal gender norms.
I sang pretty songs and won competitions
Highlighting past achievements in conforming to expected roles.
Now I'm reaching into myself
Continuing the process of self-discovery and introspection.
Bringing into the light
Reiterating the exploration of suppressed aspects of oneself.
Parts that I've repressed
Acknowledging and confronting repressed elements of identity.
I'm trying to feel myself
Striving to genuinely connect with one's emotions.
For the first time
Expressing a sense of liberation from past depressive feelings.
I'm not feeling depressed
Affirming a positive shift in emotional well-being.
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