Lyrics
I buried secrets in my skin
I've hidden my secrets within myself
So caught up, I never know where to begin
I am so entangled in my issues that I find it challenging to start addressing them
I Shut off, I feel the damage deep within
I've shut down emotionally, feeling the internal harm deeply
Scratching at the surface now
Attempting to address my issues at a superficial level
I guess I gotta just pretend
I have to pretend to enjoy or be engaged in situations even if I don't
To love the game, I don't even wanna play
Expressing reluctance or lack of interest in participating in life's challenges
To build a home, where I wouldn't even stay
Creating a space that I don't intend to make a permanent part of my life
I get the vibe, I'm not welcomed any way
Feeling unwelcome in various aspects of life
I've been thinking bout the times I was left to fade away
Reflecting on times when I was neglected and left to fade away
I lost myself today
Experiencing a loss of identity
Digging deep to find an early grave
Searching deeply within myself, potentially feeling a sense of despair
I force my hands in place
Forcing myself to take certain actions
But the touch just never feels the same
Despite the effort, the emotional connection or fulfillment is lacking
I learned a lot
Having learned that selfishness dominates my actions
That selfishness is all I got
Filling my life with distractions until the negative emotions subside
Fill my bag until the feeling stops
Reflecting on personal growth resulting from negative experiences
I changed a lot
The harm caused by my actions was not intentional
The damage done, I never sought
Dealing with the consequences of my actions that were previously ignored
Overlaps the feelings left untouched
Overlapping emotions that were left unaddressed
I chased around the pain
Pursuing relief from emotional pain
Looking back I wish I could explain
Regretting past actions and desiring understanding
To myself that's not the way be
Recognizing that my past behavior was not the right way to live
Choking on my thoughts in good faith, running so aimlessly
Struggling with overwhelming thoughts and running without purpose
I chose to stop, and find the time I always thought,
Choosing to pause and reflect on the time I believed would lead to finding myself
Would amount to always feeling lost
Expecting to always feel lost despite efforts to find direction
Stay away
Advising others to stay away due to my internal struggles
Cuz I'm not the person you want me to be
Feeling that I am not the person others desire me to be
Caught up inside like you wouldn't believe
Trapped within myself in a way that others may not comprehend
Just stay away
Reiterating the desire for others to stay away for mutual relief
Gets rid of the pain, that's for you and for me
Suggesting that distance helps alleviate pain for both myself and others
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