to paradise
Journey Through Numbness: Finding Paradise in the Breakdown
Lyrics
I watched all my tears turn to an ocean
The accumulation of my tears has become vast like an ocean.
I toss and turn in my shell that I can't open up
I struggle within myself, unable to open up emotionally or mentally.
Wonder all the time if I cross your mind
I constantly wonder if I occupy your thoughts.
My paradise, I wait in line
I am waiting patiently for my ideal place or state of being.
I've had enough to live, seen enough places
I've experienced a lot in life, visited numerous places.
Now I'm waiting for the light to come and take me up
Now I await an enlightenment or positive change.
Into paradise, I wait in line
I anticipate reaching a state of paradise.
My paradise, I wait in line
Again, emphasizing my patient anticipation of paradise.
I guess it all started when I was 15
Reflecting on a pivotal moment at age 15.
Faced with the reality of moving on
Facing the reality of moving forward or growing up.
I didn't really know how
Feeling uncertain about how to proceed.
So I turned to familiar comforts
Turning to familiar comforts or coping mechanisms.
Episodes that lasted for days
Engaging in prolonged periods of certain activities.
And the days turned to years
These activities extended over years, emphasizing their impact.
Time just doesn't stop for no one it seems
Time seems relentless, continuing without regard for individuals.
It's probably why I live in my own world
Perhaps living in a personal world to cope with life's challenges.
And daydream by the shores to just...
Escaping reality by daydreaming near the shores to find solace.
Breathe
Seeking a moment of relaxation or relief.
But over time I've come to realize
Realizing a shift from feeling pain to feeling emotionally detached.
It wasn't suffering that I felt anymore
The emotional experience transformed into a sense of numbness.
It was numbness
Recognizing a lack of emotional responsiveness.
And so to feel again
Desiring to experience emotions once more.
I begged and pleaded with the powers that may be
Pleading or begging for a change in circumstances.
The words slipped my memory, but
Struggling to articulate the request or desire.
In the midst of my breakdown I felt a sound
Amid a breakdown, experiencing a significant sensation or realization.
And all I could see was the light
Seeing only brightness or hope amidst challenges.
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