Lyrics
I've been heartbroken, dying for this
I've been heartbroken, longing for this
Lost all my friends, it's making me sick
Lost all my friends, causing emotional distress
All this money don't add up to shit
All this money seems worthless
When the only happiness you get's reminiscent
Happiness only comes from memories of the past
All the memories bout who you missing
Recollections of someone dear that's now absent
But now I'm gone too and I ain't coming back
But now I've left, and I won't return
I've been fucked up too much, I went sober didn't realize no one gave a fuck
Struggling with hardships, became sober, felt ignored
All this drinking and smoking's been making me numb
Excessive drinking and smoking numbing the pain
But I don't understand why this pain won't shut up
Perplexed by persistent pain that won't cease
It keeps talking to me, telling me I'm a failure, won't make 23
Inner voice reinforcing failure and doubts about reaching 23
But I stick with the drugs and kick friends to the street
Relying on drugs, cutting ties with friends
I keep running in circles, mistrusts a disease
Caught in a cycle of mistrust, viewing it as a contagious ailment
It keeps fucking with me
Mistrust continues to torment and disturb
I keep on smoking even though I've been to rehab
Despite rehab, continuing to smoke
I keep on popping pills, don't tell no one I relapsed
Relapsing on pills secretly
I keep on drinking but this ain't no fucking decaf
Drinking persistently, not opting for decaffeinated
They say I need help, don't you think I fucking see that
Aware of needing help but feeling unseen
I've been heartbroken, dying for this
Reiteration of heartbreak and longing for something
Lost all my friends, it's making me sick
Emotional impact of losing all friends
All this money don't add up to shit
Wealth proving inadequate for happiness
When the only happiness you get's reminiscent
Happiness found only in reminiscent memories
All the memories bout who you missing
Recollections of the person missed
But now I'm gone too and I ain't coming back
Emphasizing departure and no intention to return
Fuck trust, you a snake, hoe
Expressing distrust, calling someone deceitful
I spent my childhood running from the jakes, though
Childhood spent evading law enforcement
The only thing I'm running from now is the fake hoes
Now avoiding insincere people and oneself, feeling tied to darkness
And myself because the devil's who I was made for
Associating self with evil, a creation of the devil
Fuck everyone in a 417
Disdain for everyone in a specific location
Even myself because I ain't going to heaven say any otherwise I'll get my lethal weapon
Rejecting even oneself, anticipating a grim fate
One more time, fuck you and your brethren
Reiteration of strong negative feelings towards others
I lost my bro and then I went and lost my brother
Experiencing loss of a close friend and sibling
Ever since I can't tell nobody I love 'em
Resulting in an inability to express love to anyone
I feel like one day my friends gon' be standin' with me
Anticipating future isolation from friends
Then the next day all they gon' be is a memory
Highlighting the ephemeral nature of relationships
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