Not Tunneled
Reflections on Self-Disgust and the Healing Power of Frozen Moments
Lyrics
Is it a learned behavior to hate every word that falls
Contemplating if the tendency to dislike every uttered word is learned behavior.
From my own fucking mouth
Expressing frustration or self-loathing about one's own speech.
To be disgusted with myself
Feeling repulsed by oneself, raising questions about the origin of this sentiment.
Or was that in the cards since 1994
Reflecting on whether this self-disgust has been destined since the year 1994.
Sounds like a personal question, but here we are again
Acknowledging the personal nature of the question posed in line 4 and returning to it.
Always wearing them, if not asking them
Constantly dealing with personal questions or issues.
Oh, why is it so hard to ask them as a friend
Expressing difficulty in asking personal questions as a friend.
The tank ran out
Referring to the depletion of emotional or mental energy, possibly related to a tank metaphorically.
This time not south of Fargo
Clarifying that the depletion did not occur in a specific location (south of Fargo) during a tour.
On a weekend run of shows
Highlighting that the emotional breakdown happened in the singer's home.
But it ran out in my home
Describing the home as broken down and empty, possibly metaphorically.
Broken down and empty
Depicting a personal crisis occurring on the singer's life journey.
On the side of my own highway
Symbolizing the personal highway with obstacles that require attention.
There are always things that need fixing
Recognizing constant challenges or issues that need resolution.
Like a brain with its wellness fleeting
Drawing parallels between mental wellness and the maintenance of physical objects.
Or a trailer tire, strewn down the road
Comparing a trailer tire on the road to a physical manifestation of a mental breakdown.
Knuckles scraping concrete during panic
Imagery of physical harm during a moment of panic.
If our blood stained our skin forever
Hypothetical scenario where emotional scars would be visible indefinitely.
We would have so much more to explain then
Reflecting on the complexity of explaining lasting emotional wounds.
More to talk about than just the weather
Expressing the depth of personal experiences beyond superficial topics like weather.
Driving while the world looks like a tunnel
Metaphorically describing a tunnel-like perspective during times of distress.
I've lost the words to tell you how I'm feeling
Admitting difficulty in expressing feelings verbally.
But I love you, no matter how I say it
Affirming love despite challenges in articulating emotions.
And that's the thing this planet won't be stealing
Asserting the permanence of love despite external challenges.
When hope runs out
Describing a moment of despair when hope is depleted.
And you sit in your shower, unmoving
Depicting a state of emotional stagnation, using a shower as a metaphor.
And your childhood home says "count your blessings!"
Recalling advice from the childhood home to appreciate blessings.
How do you escape from that home
Pondering the challenge of escaping the influence of one's upbringing.
Well I ran to the water
Choosing to retreat to nature, specifically water, in search of solace.
It was frozen and quiet and perfect
Describing a moment of tranquility in a frozen and quiet environment.
So I stayed there, a moment not tunneled
Experiencing a moment of clarity or peace that is not confined or restricted.
And I thanked it through tears for existing
Expressing gratitude for the therapeutic effect of the natural environment.
And wondered how we live like we do
Ruminating on the nature of human existence and the challenges it presents.
It was a quiet trip home
Reflecting on a peaceful journey home, possibly contrasting earlier turmoil.
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