Lyrics
Up on Halloween morning
Reflecting on Halloween morning
All October I've been mourning
Feeling sadness throughout October
What I haven't got
Regret for what's missing in life
The sun is grey and the days are boring
Describing a dull and uneventful atmosphere
Just yesterday it was pouring
Recent rain has stopped
But now it's not
Change in weather conditions
The leaves are soaked, the air is cold
Depicting the dampness and chill of autumn
And I'm alone as usual
Feeling isolated and solitary
When the young go out, the lights follow
Observing the festivities from afar
But my lamplight died when I awoke
Personal light or hope has faded
I don't believe
Expressing disbelief in finding happiness
I don't believe
-I don't believe in being happy
-I don't believe
-I don't believe
-I don't believe in being happy
-10:31 AM and I do not have a plan
Feeling directionless at late morning
And I lack someone I'd like to make it with, so I might pretend
Longing for companionship or pretending to have it
To be a taken man for the night
Desiring to escape reality as if taken or committed
To be a taken man
-To be a taken man for the night
-To be a taken man
-I wish everyday were Halloween
Yearning for a constant escape from oneself
So I never had to be me
Discomfort with self-identity and existence
But I'm always stuck inside
Sense of detachment and alienation
Looking from the outside in
-At people who seem to know
Perceiving others as happy and put-together
Exactly how to be happy
-I'm twisted from the inside out and tearing at the seams
Internal struggles and feeling cursed
Nothing's what it seems
-I think it might be worse
-Worse than what we've seen
-I feel like I've been cursed
Expecting rejection due to self-perceived flaws
Unlikely you'd like me
-Whatever peace I learned
Destruction of inner peace and persistent loneliness
I smashed it into pieces
-Every morning I'm not sure I'll make it to the night
-Baby, I've been on my own my entire life
-And at times
Imagining intimacy or connection, even in rain
I could imagine your touch in the rain that isn't here
-To subtly drench me in its company
-I could picture you in the streets
-Proudly dressed as someone else's for the night
Envisioning being someone else for acceptance
In someone else's hands
-Proudly dressed as someone else's for the night
-In someone else's hands
-I wish everyday were Halloween
Desiring a perpetual escape from self-reflection
So I never had to be me
-But I'm always stuck inside
-Looking from the outside in
-At people who seem to know
Feeling disconnected from happiness and reality
Exactly how to be happy
-I'm twisted from the inside out and tearing at the seams
-Nothing's what it seems
-I think it might be worse
Suffering and feeling rejected or misunderstood
Worse than what we've seen
-I feel like I've been cursed
-Unlikely you'd like me
-Whatever peace I learned
Shattering inner peace and struggling with identity
I smashed it into pieces
-I wish everyday were Halloween
-So I never had to be me
-But I'm always stuck inside
Sense of isolation and envy of others' happiness
Looking from the outside in
-At people who seem to know
-Exactly how to be happy
-I'm twisted from the inside out and tearing at the seams
Continued feeling of being cursed and misunderstood
Nothing's what it seems
-I think it might be worse
-Worse than what we've seen
-I feel like I've been cursed
Internal chaos and struggle for peace
Unlikely you'd like me
-Whatever peace I learned
-I smashed it into pieces
-I don't believe
Repeated disbelief in the possibility of happiness
I don't believe
-(I don't believe in being happy)
-I smashed it into pieces
-I don't believe
-I don't believe
-(I don't believe in being happy)
-I hope I could retrieve it
A faint hope for reclaiming lost happiness
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