Talking to Myself

Navigating Solitude: carobae's Reflection on Self-Deception
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Lyrics

When I’m bored

Expressing a tendency to turn to certain behaviors when feeling bored.

I get drunk and I smoke cigarettes

Describing the use of alcohol and cigarettes as coping mechanisms during boredom.

Pretend my life’s worse than it is

Admitting to exaggerating life's difficulties in one's mind during moments of boredom.

And feel sorry for myself

Indulging in self-pity as a result of the perceived challenges in life.


When I’m bored

Repeating the theme of boredom and the actions taken to alleviate it.

I text anyone who will text me back

Revealing a desire for attention, reaching out to others via text.

Cause I want attention want it bad

Expressing a strong need for attention, implying a deeper emotional need.

But it’s not enough to help

Acknowledging that external attention doesn't fully satisfy inner struggles.


I guess there’s something wrong with me

Recognizing a personal issue or flaw that affects interactions with others.

Think everybody sees it too

Suggesting a perception that others can see the mentioned issue or flaw.

Cause I’m the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met

Admitting to being a hypocrite, possibly implying contradictions in behavior.

Yeah I’m a little sick of waking up like this

Expressing frustration with the repetitive and negative morning routine.


It’s hard to be alone

Highlighting the difficulty of being alone due to self-dislike.

When I don’t really like me

Continuing to express a lack of self-esteem and self-acceptance.

I keep talking to myself

Describing a tendency to engage in internal dialogue, but in a harsh manner.

But not very nicely

Acknowledging the negative nature of self-talk.

Oh I’m scared of where I‘ll go

Expressing fear of the consequences if one doesn't speak or act correctly.

If I don’t say the right things

Indicating a struggle with finding the right words or actions in social situations.

Cause I keep talking to myself

Reiterating the tendency to engage in negative self-talk internally.

But not very nicely

Emphasizing the lack of kindness in one's internal dialogue.


Now I’m here

Transitioning to a different setting, still using alcohol as a coping mechanism.

And I’m just drinking more alcohol

Continuing to rely on alcohol to cope with life's challenges.

Only way I can deal with it all

Explaining that alcohol serves as a way to manage overwhelming emotions.

Cause I can’t do face to face

Expressing a difficulty with face-to-face interactions and preferring indirect coping.


You would think

Contrasting the expectation of opening up with the preference for pushing others away.

That I’d open up to someone who

Highlighting a reluctance to open up to those who genuinely care.

Wants to love me but I’d rather choose

Choosing isolation over accepting love and support from others.

To push them far away

Preferring to distance oneself from others, possibly due to fear of vulnerability.

Cause I don’t know if I’ll change

Expressing uncertainty about the possibility of personal change.


There’s something wrong with me

Reiterating the belief in a personal flaw visible to others.

Think everybody sees it too

Continuing to express the perception that others recognize the mentioned flaw.

Cause I’m the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met

Repeating the acknowledgment of being a hypocrite, emphasizing internal conflict.

Yeah I’m a little sick of waking up like this

Expressing weariness and dissatisfaction with the current state of waking up.

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