Pins and Patches
Chasing Dreams, Haunting Realities: Carousel Horse's Pins and Patches Tale
Lyrics
I'm gonna drown myself in
I'm contemplating self-destruction
All these fading sites of youth
Reflecting on vanishing memories of our younger days
In murals whited out to match the present
In murals erased to align with the current state
Tense with cures
Tense with remedies
For the character that made us who we were
Referring to qualities that shaped our identity
Clueless kids with cynic faces
Youthful individuals with skeptical expressions
Aimed at all we would become
Aimed at the future versions of ourselves
And it isn't what you want, I know
Contrary to your desires, I understand
I've seen the drafts
I've witnessed the preliminary versions
Of better lives you wrote, redacted, tore, and torched
Alternate lives you penned, edited, and destroyed
Afraid you might compare yourself the way your parents used to
Fearing comparison to your past, as your parents did
The way you still do all the same
Continuing this pattern
Afraid you might have missed your mark
Concerned about missing opportunities
I know
Acknowledging the shared sentiment
I feel it, too
Experiencing the same emotion
It leaves you wanting something
It results in a desire for something more
You always said you wanted more
You always expressed a desire for abundance
More
Emphasizing this yearning
Than I could ever give you
More than I could provide in this constrained environment
In this town you just can't leave, and
Referring to the difficulty of leaving this place
You always said you wanted more
Reiterating the longing for more
Another decade wasted on sterility
Another decade wasted on a sterile existence
A thousand drafts of filtered faces
Countless attempts at perfecting artificial images
Void of blemishes or scars
Devoid of imperfections
Selling all the same old lies our parents used to tell us
Selling the same deceptions our parents told
Mechanical, manipulating
Automated, manipulative
If we're gonna make believe, why can't it be
If we engage in fantasy, why not make it enjoyable
Any damn fun
Questioning the lack of excitement in pretense
Any damn fun
Repeating the desire for enjoyable illusion
Does this need saying
Questioning the necessity of expressing this
Does this need saying
Repeating the previous line
It leaves you wanting something
Leads to a yearning for something more
You always said you wanted more
Reiterating the desire for abundance
More
Emphasizing the persistent want
Than I could ever give you
More than I could offer in this confined place
In this town you just can't leave, and
Highlighting the difficulty of departure
You always said you wanted
You always professed a desire
This time I don't believe you
Doubting the sincerity this time
There's nothing left to leave behind
Nothing remains to be left behind
You locked the picket fence behind you
You closed off the suburban ideal behind you
Ran and hid yourself inside
Hiding within, with plans for contingencies
With wedding ring contingencies designed to hold you over
Using marriage-related precautions to sustain
Now just holding you in line
Now, just maintaining control over you
That leave you wanting something
This results in a yearning for something more
You always said you wanted more
You consistently expressed a desire for abundance
More
Emphasizing the longing for more
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