Lyrics
Once again, my caution bends to soft amnesia as I forget that I've been here before
Reflecting on a pattern of forgetfulness and repeating experiences.
The melatonin fails again, and melancholy settles in
Unable to find peace, experiencing a deep sadness.
My mouth neglects the shape of words that I know you adored
Struggling to express emotions verbally, particularly those cherished by someone else.
And every night it hurts a little more
Every night brings increasing emotional pain.
And I can't seem to satiate
Inability to satisfy or alleviate persistent sadness.
The sadness that still resonates
The lingering sadness remains despite efforts to overcome it.
Every bone in me will break
Feeling emotionally and physically broken.
Beneath the weight of guilt that I can't place
Weighed down by unidentifiable guilt.
If my happiness isn't permanent, then I am no more than a surrogate father
Questioning self-worth if happiness is fleeting.
Lead to the alter to marry the mother despite all of my reservations
Reluctant commitment despite reservations.
If the joy that I feel is so juvenile, how do I reconcile all the aggression that I seem to harbour?
Struggling with aggressive emotions while experiencing joy.
The selfish depression that makes it so hard to feel loved?
Depression hindering the ability to feel loved.
Promise me you'll stay a while, I know I ask you all the time
Pleading for the assurance of companionship.
Must be getting hard to pretend
Recognizing the difficulty in maintaining a facade.
And safe in the warmth of the sun I let myself undress
Embracing vulnerability in the warmth of a moment.
Revealing wounds that time neglects
Revealing emotional wounds that time has not healed.
Hesitant, I acquiesce to the softest embrace of your bed
Reluctantly surrendering to the comfort of a bed.
Where shamefully I supplicate
Expressing shame while seeking solace.
For anything that seems to sooth my aches
Pleading for anything that can alleviate pain.
Watch me as I dissipate
Observing one's own dissolution.
Dissolve into a solvent fear of change
Dissolving into fear of change.
Despondency bleeds into everything
Despair affecting every aspect of life.
Removing my hands from the wheel of the vehicle
Abandoning control and apathy towards consequences.
I couldn't care at all
Losing concern and emotional attachment.
Sing me to sleep with my mellifluous misery
Seeking solace in a soothing but melancholic state.
Drunk and delusional, numb at the funeral
Being emotionally numb and intoxicated at a funeral.
Love was once sacrosanct, but now it resembles the sound of a language that I am scared to speak
Love, once sacred, now feels intimidating to express.
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