Necessary Child
Unveiling the Silent Battle: Necessary Child by Catch The Sparrow
Lyrics
My dad left the army
My father left the military.
It never left him
The impact of his military experience remained with him.
My dad came home safely
Despite returning home safely, the internal struggle of war persisted.
But the war raged on within
Emotional battles continued within him despite physical safety.
I heard him scream at night
I heard his distressing screams during the night.
By daytime
During the day, the struggle manifested differently.
He screamed at my mistakes
He expressed frustration by screaming at my mistakes.
It has always been this way
This dynamic has persisted over time.
It's no use to play the blaming game
Rejecting the blame game, as it is futile.
Just a way to dull the pain
Blaming is merely a coping mechanism to numb the pain.
Hoping still, it goes away someday
Despite the hope, the pain persists with an uncertain resolution.
A child born out of necessity
A child born out of necessity.
Will always unconsciously feel guilty
Such a child unintentionally carries a sense of guilt.
A child born to claim a victory
A child born to symbolize victory.
Will never fully understand the idea
However, they may struggle to grasp the concept fully.
Of being free
The idea of true freedom eludes them.
I crept under tables
I sought refuge under tables.
I hid in the hall
Hiding in the hall became a learned behavior.
I learned to keep quiet
Silence and shrinking became survival strategies.
And to make my body small
Survival meant making myself inconspicuous.
I heard my mother cry
I heard my mother's sorrowful cries.
By daytime, she simply sighed
During the day, her pain was expressed through sighs.
It has always been this way
Similar patterns of coping persisted over time.
It's no use to play the blaming game
Blaming is ineffective in this situation.
All those years, I tried and tried
Throughout the years, efforts were made to conceal fears.
To keep all my fears so deep inside
The attempt to keep fears hidden deep inside.
I tried
Despite efforts, the struggle persisted.
A child born out of necessity
A child born out of necessity.
Will always unconsciously feel guilty
The inherent guilt in a child born from necessity.
A child born to claim a victory
A child born to signify triumph.
Will never fully understand the idea
Yet, they may struggle to comprehend true freedom.
Of being free
The concept of genuine freedom remains elusive to them.
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