Christiana Berenguer

Excuses

Breaking Free from Apologies: Christiana Berenguer's Raw Reflections
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Lyrics

I’m so sorry I missed your birthday

I apologize for missing your birthday.

I didn’t think you would care if you heard from me

I thought you wouldn't care if I reached out to you.

By the time I decided you might, it was too late

By the time I realized you might care, it was too late.

And now I’m embarrassed and overthinking

I feel embarrassed and am overthinking the situation now.


How can I trust everybody if I don’t trust anybody?

I struggle to trust people in general, making it difficult to trust anybody.

I think that I love you but I don’t think that you really want me

I believe I love you, but I'm unsure if you truly want me.


I don’t wanna be sorry anymore

I don't want to keep apologizing; I want to change.

Don’t wanna have so much to be sorry for

I want to avoid having reasons to apologize.

I don't wanna be somebody hard to love

I don't want to be a person who is difficult to love.


It’s a constant stream of thoughts

I constantly have racing thoughts.

Putting people in a box

I categorize people and put them in boxes in my mind.

While I trip over the feelings

I struggle with emotions and often stumble over them.

I don’t think I follow through

I have difficulty following through on things.

Or pick up on social cues

I struggle to understand social cues.

And completely miss your feelings

I often miss or misinterpret your feelings.

I wanna do the right thing

I want to do what is right, but I feel ineffective.

But feel fucking useless

I want to do the right thing but feel useless.

I wanna do the right thing

Despite feeling useless, I still want to do what is right.

So fuck my excuses

I acknowledge and reject my own excuses.


How can I give unconditionally when there’s always a thousand conditions

I find it challenging to give unconditionally due to numerous conditions.

So I play it safer than I should and ask for permission never forgiveness

I choose to play it safe and seek permission rather than seeking forgiveness.

You don’t know what you don’t know until you surrender

You only realize what you don't know when you surrender to the truth.

I think that I love u but I don’t think that it's forever

I believe I love you, but I'm uncertain if it's a lasting love.


I don’t wanna be sorry anymore

I want to stop being apologetic.

Don’t wanna have so much to be sorry for

I want to minimize the reasons for apologies.

I don't wanna be somebody hard to love

I don't want to be a person who is hard to love.


It’s a constant stream of thoughts

I constantly have racing thoughts.

Putting people in a box

I categorize people and put them in boxes in my mind.

While I trip over the feelings

I struggle with emotions and often stumble over them.

I don’t think I follow through

I have difficulty following through on things.

Or pick up on social cues

I struggle to understand social cues.

And completely miss your feelings

I often miss or misinterpret your feelings.

I wanna do the right thing

I want to do what is right, but I feel ineffective.

But feel fucking useless

I want to do the right thing but feel useless.

I wanna do the right thing

Despite feeling useless, I still want to do what is right.

So fuck my excuses

I acknowledge and reject my own excuses.

The lyrics of this song contain explicit content.
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