Dropout
Struggling with Shadows: City Mouth's Dropout Journey
Lyrics
You said, "I think you're just giving up"
You mentioned that you believe I'm giving up, but the situation is more complex than that.
It's so much more than that
There's a deeper issue beyond just giving up, contrary to what you think.
You think I'm better than this
You have a positive view of me, thinking I'm capable of more than my current state.
But you are sadly mistaken
Your perception is incorrect; I'm not as you believe, and the reality is different.
I'm a dead man walking
I feel like a lifeless person, visibly deteriorating as I remain confined in this bed.
Can't you see me decaying as I lay in this bed?
My decay is apparent, and I'm wondering if you notice it while I'm lying here.
And I'm gonna need you to tell me I'm alright
I seek reassurance from you, wanting to hear that everything is okay with me.
And I'm gonna need you to tell me I'm alright
I emphasize the need for you to confirm my well-being, expressing vulnerability.
Maybe the drinks and the late nights are part of the same gun
The possibility that my drinking and late nights contribute to my struggles is acknowledged.
If that's true, I've been stroking the trigger and kissing the barrel
If that's true, I've been engaging in self-destructive behavior, symbolized by the gun metaphor.
And I'm gonna need you to tell me I'm alright
Reiteration of the need for reassurance and affirmation from you.
Yeah, I'm gonna need you to tell me I'm alright
Continued emphasis on the necessity for you to confirm that everything is alright with me.
And I don't know if I'll make it past twenty
Expressing uncertainty about surviving beyond the age of twenty.
These days are like nightmares
Describing the current days as nightmarish, indicating a challenging and distressing experience.
These nights only fade
The difficulties of the nights are temporary and eventually fade away.
And I don't know if I'll make it past twenty
Repetition of the uncertainty regarding survival beyond the age of twenty.
And I don't know which way is up
Feeling disoriented and not knowing which direction to take in life.
And I don't know if I'll make it past twenty
Reiteration of uncertainty about reaching the age of twenty.
(And I'm gonna need you to tell me I'm alright)
(Reiterated) The continued need for reassurance from others, possibly due to inner turmoil.
And I don't know if I even want to
Expressing doubt about whether I even want to survive beyond the age of twenty.
(And I'm gonna need you to tell me I'm alright)
(Reiterated) The ongoing need for external reassurance and validation of my well-being.
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