Requiem
Lost in Shadows: A Heart's Struggle with Love and Demons
Lyrics
I felt the rush of love in my bones
Experiencing a deep sensation of love within myself.
But when your demons lashed out
When your inner struggles and troubles became evident.
It wasn't enough
The efforts made weren't sufficient.
After all
Despite attempts, it wasn't enough.
I couldn't hold you up and I woke up alone
Unable to support you and waking up alone.
I should've seen this coming
Realizing that the outcome was foreseeable.
You were a shadow of the one that I loved
You appeared as a diminished version of the person I loved.
But I couldn't let go
But I couldn't detach myself.
I covered my eyes with the thought you would be fine
Blinding myself to the situation, hoping for your well-being.
And when the sickness spread
When the illness or negativity spread.
It was free to take what was left
It could freely take away what remained.
Take what was left that night
Claiming what was left during that night.
All of this to feel alive for one last time
All of this was done to feel alive for the final time.
I should've known, I should've seen it all along
Regretting the failure to anticipate or understand earlier.
Shadows creep under my eyelids
Sensations of darkness invading even my dreams.
I don't think the night's ever been quite this cold
Feeling an extreme level of coldness in the night.
What will it take to escape my thoughts?
Seeking a way to escape from my own thoughts.
I thought I knew you
A realization that I misunderstood you.
I thought I could see through you
Believing I could comprehend your true nature.
I don't think the night's ever been quite this long
Perceiving the night as unusually prolonged.
I'm shutting down, consumed by the signs that I should've seen
Feeling overwhelmed by ignored warning signs.
I always hoped when you fell away
Hoping that when you changed, I'd be part of that change.
You'd take me too
Expecting to accompany you in your departure.
Cause i'm lost now
Feeling directionless and disconnected now.
Stuck in place
Stagnant, unable to move on.
I can't let go of you
Unable to release myself from this connection.
Time goes by
The passage of time continues.
Bleeds into the next life
Seamlessly moving from one phase of life to another.
All of this just to feel alive
All this effort just to feel alive.
For one last time
For the final instance.
Another meaningless high
An additional, purposeless moment of intense sensation.
All of this just to feel alive
Striving for vitality in a desperate manner.
I'm a stranger in my own home
Feeling unfamiliar even in my own familiar space.
Desperately searching for what went wrong
Frantically seeking the cause of the downfall.
I'm already too far gone to find solace in your loss
Realizing it's too late to find comfort in your absence.
I always hoped when you fell away
Anticipating to join you if you departed.
You'd take me too
Hoping to be part of the transition.
Cause i'm lost now
Feeling lost and immobile.
Stuck in place
Stuck and unable to detach from you.
I can't let go of you
The sense of time passing, crossing into another existence.
Time goes by
Bleeds into the next life
Time flowing continuously into the subsequent phase of life.
All of this just to feel alive
All these actions to experience vitality for one final time.
For one last time
For the last opportunity.
Another meaningless high
Another pointless pursuit of an intense sensation.
All of this just to feel alive
All this done to feel alive once more.
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