Ghost Kingdom
Finding Home Amidst Buffets and Festivals
Lyrics
We used to go to the buffet on Pendleton Pike
Reflecting on past visits to a buffet on Pendleton Pike.
It was one of the only places where I had someone to look like
Feeling a sense of belonging at the buffet.
I'd think the waitress was sent there to look after me
Speculating that the waitress was there to care for the speaker.
But we were only there to feast
Highlighting the primary purpose of being at the buffet - to feast.
I imagined my mom in the faces like mine
Imagining the speaker's mother in people who share similar features.
Minimal in a place full of white
Feeling out of place as a minority in a predominantly white environment.
I wasn't the only one
Acknowledging that others shared the same experience.
But we didn't have the language at the time
Lacking the language to express their feelings at that time.
It's never easy to be the odd one out
Expressing the difficulty of being the odd one out.
Couldn't even fit into the in-betweens
Unable to fit into societal norms.
It felt like world versus me
Feeling a sense of isolation against the world.
How could I ever feel at home?
Questioning how the speaker could ever feel at home.
My family loves me, that I know
Acknowledging the love from the family but sensing something missing.
But there's been something missing
Expressing an emptiness or void in the speaker's life.
A familiar feeling that this is where I'm supposed to be
Yearning for a feeling of belonging and purpose.
I'll just pretend that you're here with me
Choosing to imagine someone's presence to fill the void.
We only went to the festival a couple of times
Recalling infrequent visits to a festival.
I couldn't understand what everyone was wanting me to try
Unable to comprehend the expectations placed on the speaker.
I felt like I had to protect my mom's feelings
Feeling the need to protect the emotions of the speaker's mom.
Even though I know I'm not responsible
Acknowledging a sense of responsibility despite not being at fault.
The food was different than what we had at home
Noticing differences in food compared to home.
Dumplings all lined up in rows
Describing a scene with dumplings in rows.
Tried to enjoy myself
Attempting to enjoy the festival despite internal struggles.
So I put my feelings on the shelf
Putting aside emotions to cope with the situation.
It's always messy to talk about the truth
Acknowledging the difficulty of discussing the truth.
I still haven't been able to talk to you
Expressing the challenge of communicating with someone.
I don't know where it could lead
Uncertain about the potential outcomes of communication.
How could I ever feel at home?
Reiterating the ongoing struggle to feel at home.
My family loves me, that I know
Reaffirming the family's love but sensing a void.
But there's been something missing
Highlighting the persistent sense of something missing.
A familiar feeling that this is where I'm supposed to be
Yearning for a familiar feeling of belonging.
I'll just pretend that you're here with me
Continuing to imagine the presence of someone to fill the void.
Ooh
An interlude or emotional expression without specific lyrics.
I don't know why they gave me up
Questioning the reasons behind being given up.
And I don't have time to waste
Emphasizing the urgency of time.
I don't know if things could change
Uncertainty about the possibility of change.
But there's no hate
Clarifying an absence of hatred despite uncertainties.
But sometimes I wonder
Expressing occasional contemplation about unknowns.
(Why)
A rhetorical question about the reasons behind the speaker's situation.
How could I ever feel at home?
Reiterating the ongoing struggle to feel at home.
My family loves me, that I know
Reaffirming the family's love but sensing a void.
But there's been something missing
Highlighting the persistent sense of something missing.
A familiar feeling that this is where I'm supposed to be
Yearning for a familiar feeling of belonging.
I'll just pretend that you're here with me
Continuing to imagine the presence of someone to fill the void.
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