Killed the Boy
Unraveling Despair: Club Halifax's Reflection on Regret and Redemption
Lyrics
Hadn't thought about what I'd do to repay it
Reflecting on the obligation to repay a debt
Could I kill you where you stand and let you lay
Contemplating the idea of causing harm or death
I feel it would place nice there
Believing that the act would fit well in that situation
He's captured release right there
Someone has captured the feeling of release
A harpoon, a pierce: can't stand your mind
Using harpoon and pierce metaphorically to express disdain for someone's thoughts
What an awful mistake that you were mine
Regretting the past relationship as a mistake
Don't know why you'd show face here
Confused about why the person would appear in that place
Grip throat the end right here
Expressing a desire to end the relationship by gripping the throat
Tear me down the middle
Metaphorically asking to be torn apart emotionally
I never much liked that part anyway
Indifference towards a certain aspect of the relationship
I've erased before, I swear I'd do it again
Claiming to have erased memories before and willing to do it again
I killed the boy who wrote this
Confession of killing the former self represented as "the boy"
I killed the boy who wrote this
-Half-frayed, half-tight, a noose, your neck
Describing the emotional state as a mix of frayed and tight with a reference to a noose
Fired rounds and rounds, blank shot, blank check
Using gun imagery to convey a sense of emptiness and a blank future
Shell shocked and taken ahold
Feeling overwhelmed and controlled by circumstances
Forced to watch the end unfold
Being forced to witness the unfolding of a tragic ending
A needless display of delusion
Criticizing a pointless display of self-deception
What's with all the fucking confusion
Expressing frustration at the confusion in the relationship
Take it or leave it alone
Offering a choice to either accept or reject the situation
The old you living on in my phone
The old version of the person lingering in memories
Not afraid to mask the approach
Not afraid to hide true feelings and intentions
The act is all but gone, all cover is blown
Suggesting that the pretense is over, and true feelings are revealed
Tear me down the middle
Repeating the desire to be torn apart emotionally
I never much liked that part anyway
Reiterating indifference to a certain aspect of the relationship
I've erased before, I swear I'd do it again
Repeating the willingness to erase memories
I killed the boy who wrote this
Repeating the confession of killing the former self
I killed the boy who wrote this
-I killed the boy who wrote this
-I hadn't thought about in days I'd say
Realizing that days have passed without thinking about a certain issue
But deep down he knows I just wanna leave some day
Acknowledging a desire to leave someday
Is there no chance that you're coming with me I'd say
Expressing uncertainty about someone joining in the departure
Might've if he ever felt the same I'd say
Speculating that the person might have joined if feelings were mutual
Now I think about it every waking day
Obsessing over the issue every waking day now
Deep down do I regret what I replaced that day
Contemplating whether there is regret for the decision made that day
Is there no chance that you're coming with me I'd say
Repeating uncertainty about someone coming along
Might've then but now I'll never ever feel the same
Accepting that the feelings will never be the same
I know you think I'm jaded
Responding to accusations of being emotionally numb or disillusioned
I won't listen when you blame me
Refusing to accept blame for the situation
And I'll try to resurrect my sanity
Expressing an intention to regain mental stability
With stupid shit to keep me busy
Using distractions to cope with the emotional turmoil
I know you think I'm jaded
Repeating the rejection of being emotionally numb or disillusioned
I won't listen when you blame me
Persisting in not accepting blame for the situation
And I'll try to resurrect my sanity
Reiterating the intention to regain mental stability
With stupid shit to keep me busy
Continuing to use distractions to stay occupied
Keep me busy
Requesting to keep busy, possibly to avoid dwelling on emotions
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