this is all i have today
Navigating Despair: Connor Neeck's Raw Reflections in 'This Is All I Have Today'
Lyrics
I don't wanna talk to Jesus today
I am not inclined to communicate with Jesus today.
I'm sinking all alone in my space
I am feeling isolated in my own space.
And every time I walk away I feel the mess I made
Every time I distance myself, I recognize the consequences of my actions and the chaos I've caused.
Crumble in me
The consequences are collapsing within me.
I'm sick of always watching it fade
I am tired of witnessing the deterioration of a dream I proudly constructed.
The dream that I so proudly create
My created dream is fading into insignificance.
And every time I watch it fade into nothing
Every time I see it fade, it transforms into nothingness.
I sing to save the day
I sing in an attempt to salvage the day.
But this is all I have today
At present, this is all I possess.
It's not a fucking Black Parade
It's not a grandiose event like the "Black Parade" (reference to My Chemical Romance's album).
A novel or a hand-grenade
It's not a complex story or a destructive force, but rather a part of myself.
But it's a piece of me
Despite its simplicity, it holds significance as it is a representation of me.
Yeah this is all I have today
Currently, this is all I can offer.
I know it isn't everything
I acknowledge that it doesn't encompass everything.
It's barely a note but it'll clear my throat enough to turn the page
It may be minimal, but it serves to clear my throat and allow me to move forward.
On another day
This action helps me transition to another day.
I don't know if I'm okay to be honest
I am uncertain about my well-being and honesty about my feelings.
Make the bed for me
Please make the bed for me.
I don't know if I'm okay to be honest
I'm unsure if I'm truly okay.
When I sleep in the mess I've made
Especially when I confront the mess I've created while sleeping.
I don't know if I'm okay to be honest
I am still unsure about my emotional state.
Make the bed for me
Requesting assistance to make the bed for me again.
I don't know if I'm okay to be honest
Continuing uncertainty about my emotional well-being.
So just take this piece from me.
As a result, I offer this piece of myself to others.
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