Good Instead of Bad
Navigating Love's Maze: Dana Gavanski's Reflection on Being Good Instead of Bad
Lyrics
I could see it when he talked to me
I observed his emotions as he spoke to me
His eyes closed like windows
His closed eyes were like sealed windows
Watched the seasons and they made me see
Witnessed the passing seasons, prompting reflection
The time when I could still hope
Recalling a time when hope was still present
We could be clear in anger
We could confront anger with clarity
We could take fear and sing her a song
Facing fear, expressing it through song, asserting strength
And tell her we were strong
Declaring resilience against challenges
I could tell he wasn't trying to be this way
I sensed he wasn't intentionally behaving this way
But he couldn't see through
Struggling to see beyond the emotions I imposed on him
All the feelings that I tried to heap on him
My feelings created difficulty for him
Made it hard to
Making it hard for him to understand
Tell if it was my own voice
Uncertain if the voice I heard was mine
Tell if it was the right choice
Uncertain if the choices I made were right
Curled up in a ball
Curled up in a ball, in a state of vulnerability
And I don't know how long
Uncertain about the duration of this emotional state
How can I be good to him?
Questioning how to be good to him
How can I be good, instead of bad?
Aspiring to be good rather than bad
How can I be true to him
Contemplating how to be true to him
How can I be true, instead of sad?
Striving to be true instead of succumbing to sadness
Or is that all I have?
Questioning if sadness is the only emotion left
Is this all I have?
Pondering if this emotional state is all there is
Though I know I should not ask for more
Despite knowing not to desire more, grappling with a question
I sit with this question
Sitting with a lingering question about the future
Will we ever dance upon this floor
Contemplating whether they will share joy like in the past
Like the night when I met him
Reflecting on the memorable night of their meeting
But it was just from this angle
Observing from a different perspective
Watching the way the dust rolled on down
Watching dust settle, symbolic of changes
The flowers had gone brown
Noticing the withering of flowers, a metaphor for decay
And they curved into a frown
The negative turn of events reflected in a frown
How can I be good to him?
Reiterating the quest to be good to him
How can I be good, instead of bad?
Emphasizing the desire to choose goodness over badness
How can I be true to him?
Reaffirming the struggle to be true to him
How can I be true, instead of sad?
Aspiring to maintain truthfulness and avoid sadness
Or is this all I have?
Questioning if sadness is the only reality
Is this all I have?
Pondering if this emotional state is all there is
Or is this all I have
Reflecting on the limited offering of oneself
To give away?
Contemplating what is left to give away
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