Lyrics
You know me so well now
You have a deep understanding of who I am
There's nothing more to tell now
There's no more information to disclose or share
So you know all about my dad
You are aware of details regarding my father
And the fucked up life we had
Describes the difficult and troubled life with the speaker's father
If I cry you're scared that I
If I show vulnerability by crying, you fear I may never recover
Might never lift my eyes
Expressing emotional withdrawal, avoiding eye contact
But when I'm hard, you say I'm cold
When emotionally resilient, you perceive me as cold
The walls are up, the gates are shut
Metaphorically, walls are built, shutting people out
Well guess what, you're right
Acknowledges the correctness of the perception
You're right, you're right
Reiterates the acknowledgment of the correctness
So just leave me alone
Asks to be left alone, perhaps due to emotional struggles
Now I'm five and I know I'm alive
At the age of five, the speaker is becoming aware of life
€'Cause I've been beaten and shown
Implies exposure to mistreatment and tough experiences
And this is my home
Declares the current circumstances as the speaker's home
I'll just go deep in my room
Retreating emotionally and physically from others
Far from all of you
Seeking isolation from those around
All the tears I've saved for years
Accumulated sadness expressed metaphorically
In wells of gold I drown
Intense emotional pain described using imagery of drowning in gold
So now you see it's hard for me
It's challenging for the speaker to let go of past experiences
To let them go so easily, you're right
Reiterates the difficulty of moving on
I'm cold the doors are closed so just leave
Confirms the emotional coldness and closed-off nature
You're right I'm cold, the doors are closed
Reiterates emotional detachment and closure
I've made my bed and you'll lie in it
Takes responsibility for the consequences of personal choices
And if I go down, down, down
If the speaker faces a downfall, others will be affected as well
I will take you all with me
Expresses a willingness to bring others down in times of personal struggle
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