Lyrics
I was okay in high school
I had a good experience in high school.
But that all changed when I took the pill
My life changed after taking a certain pill.
Wanted to be a grown up
I desired to be an adult.
But all it did was make me shrill
The pill had negative effects, making me loud or unpleasant.
I was a theater kid
I was involved in theater activities.
But I just played strippers and drama queens
My roles were limited to strippers and drama queens.
And I never talked about how it hurt
I never discussed the emotional pain I experienced.
But now I'm coming clean
I am now confessing or being open about my feelings.
I used to wonder what it would be like to be on TV
I wondered about fame and being on television.
Maybe then the senior I liked would finally notice me
I hoped to be noticed by a senior I liked if I were on TV.
I used to want to date anybody that made eye contact with me
I wanted to date anyone who made eye contact.
Just a few seconds already imagined how great our lives could be
Fantasizing about a brief interaction leading to a great life.
I started changing before everyone else
I started changing my behavior before others did.
Happened so fast didn't even know myself
Rapid changes occurred, and I lost self-awareness.
Sometimes I wish I could go back, tell her
I wish I could go back and advise my past self.
Looking back at it
Reflecting on the past.
None of it mattered
Realizing that none of it mattered in the long run.
I didn't spend enough time alone to find out who I am
I didn't spend enough time alone to discover my true self.
Spent half the day just playing a role or being in a band
I spent much of my time playing roles or being in a band.
Still haven't got a grip on reality even though I try
Struggling to grasp reality despite efforts.
But that's okay I like it that way
Accepting the current state and finding contentment.
And I guess I'm doing fine
Overall, I am doing fine.
I started changing before everyone else
Similar to line 13, reiterating the early change.
Happened so fast didn't even know myself
Reiterating the rapid and unexpected self-transformation.
Sometimes I wish I could go back, tell her
Expressing a desire to advise the past self again.
Looking back at it
Reflecting on the past once more.
None of it mattered
Reiterating the insignificance of past experiences.
Long drives after class
Recalling long drives after classes.
Hoping we were more than friends
Hoping for a deeper connection beyond friendship.
Memories play again in my head
Memories of good times replaying in my mind.
Even good things have to end
Acknowledging that even positive experiences come to an end.
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