Lyrics
I go through life with so much grief
I experience a significant amount of sorrow in my life.
I close my eyes but I can't sleep
Despite closing my eyes, I struggle to find peace in sleep.
I hope one day I rest in peace
I aspire to find peace and rest in death at some point.
But until then I keep on weeping I like to wallow in my sorrows
Until that time, I continue to cry and indulge in my sorrows, often finding comfort in alcohol.
Find solace in the bottle problems drowned with every swallow
My problems seem to drown with every sip from the bottle.
Try to maximize my time cause I know the time I got is borrowed
I try to make the most of my time as I am aware that it is borrowed.
But all my days end up the same my yesterdays look like tomorrow
Despite efforts, my days feel repetitive, and my future appears no different from my past.
And my bills just multiply I got this phone and rent and car note
Financial burdens, including phone, rent, and car payments, keep piling up.
Try to find the positives but negatives in my Wells Fargo
While attempting to focus on the positive, financial difficulties persist.
My energy gets over drafted heavy weighted lotta cargo
My energy is drained due to overwhelming burdens and responsibilities.
I went and sold my chain it makes me question if my heart gold
I sold my material possessions, raising questions about the purity of my heart.
I walk around I'm always smiling but I cant lie this shit ain't easy
Externally, I may appear happy, but internally, I'm facing challenges that are not easy to cope with.
Cause inside I'm really down but I don't frown know its deceiving
Despite feeling down, I maintain a facade, aware that appearances can be deceiving.
And I don't wanna let em' down cause I got people and they need me
Responsibility towards others prevents me from expressing my struggles openly.
But tell who the fuck can I call when my heart gets tired of beating
There's a lack of support when my own heart grows tired of beating.
Tell me who the fuck I count on when my minds a bit uneasy
I feel alone when my mind becomes uneasy, seeking someone to rely on.
When my pride and self esteem starts to decline and I get sleepy
As my pride and self-esteem decline, I become tired and sleep-deprived.
Tired of dealing with this life cant close my eyes cause I start dreaming
Life is challenging, and I avoid closing my eyes due to haunting dreams.
And my nightmares getting stronger been exercising all my demons
Internal struggles and nightmares persist, requiring constant effort to overcome.
They tell me it's, part of the process it's part of the gain
Others advise that difficulties are part of the process and growth.
They tell me I gotta keep on working disregard all the pain
Despite the pain, I'm encouraged to continue working towards my goals.
While distractions stay attacking me, my heart and my brain
Distractions consistently challenge my emotional well-being.
I put in all this fucking time they still disregarding my name
Despite investing time, my efforts are often ignored or overlooked.
As time pass these negative thoughts are getting hard to contain
Negative thoughts become increasingly difficult to control over time.
I'm tired of taking all these losses I gotta charge to the game
Experiencing numerous losses, I must endure and move forward.
And everybody sees my failures that shits part of my shame
Failures are visible to everyone, contributing to a sense of shame.
That's why I put it on a song and try to market my pain
I express my pain through music, hoping to connect with others who may relate.
And I had people I thought love me its been a minute since they call me
People who once claimed to love me seem to have forgotten and distanced themselves.
Use to tell me that they got me now it looks like they forgot me
Those who used to support me now appear to have abandoned me.
Use to call me when they need me, now its me who needs somebody
Once relied upon, now I find myself in need of support and companionship.
Been feeling like I'm finna crash no one to slow me down or stop me
Feeling on the verge of a breakdown with no one to slow or stop the descent.
I'm always there for them to lean on, when I need it they disregard me
I provide support for others, but when I need it, they disregard me.
Never quick to show forgiveness yet they quick to say they sorry
Others are slow to forgive, quick to apologize, and indifferent in tough times.
Always act a bit indifferent when the road gets really rocky
People act indifferent when facing challenges, especially during difficult times.
But if I swerved and then I died then they'd be grieving really sloppy
It's suggested that if I were to face a tragic end, others might mourn haphazardly.
I know
(Empty line)
I go through life with so much grief
I continue to navigate life burdened by grief.
I close my eyes but I can't sleep
Despite attempts to find solace in sleep, it remains elusive.
I hope one day I rest in peace, like
I hold onto the hope that one day I will find peace and rest in death.
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