I Miss The Closet
Nostalgic Reflections: Embracing Vulnerability in 'I Miss The Closet'
Lyrics
I wonder when she’ll text me back
The speaker wonders when someone will respond to their text.
I never used to be like that
The speaker used to have a different attitude or behavior.
I didn’t give a shit
In the past, the speaker didn’t care much.
I’d leave all the boys on read
They would leave messages from boys unread.
Now I’m anxious I did something wrong
The speaker now feels anxious, questioning if they did something wrong.
Did I laugh too much or talk too long?
They wonder if their actions or words were excessive.
I’m racking my mind wondering
The speaker is mentally searching for what might have caused the concern.
If it’s something that I said
They wonder if something they said caused the issue.
And it’s times like these I miss the closet
The speaker misses the time when they were in the closet, hinting at an easier life despite hiding their true self.
Some things were easier then
During closeted times, life seemed simpler.
When I could pretend
They could pretend to be someone else during that period.
And it’s times like these I miss the numbness
The speaker misses the feeling of numbness, possibly related to emotional suppression.
Some things were easier then
Life felt easier when emotions were suppressed.
When I could pretend
During that time, the speaker could pretend to ignore or suppress feelings.
I wonder if she likes me back
The speaker wonders if someone they like feels the same way about them.
I never used to be like that
The speaker's behavior has changed from the past.
I’d pick the boys to like
Previously, they would select who to like among boys.
Then I’d push them all away
Then they would intentionally distance themselves from those they liked.
Now I’m wondering if I freaked you out
The speaker is worried they might have made the other person uncomfortable.
I can’t remember what we talked about
They can't recall the details of their conversation.
I’m laying here wondering
The speaker is lying awake, pondering if the other person shares their feelings.
If you feel the same
Wondering if the other person reciprocates their emotions.
And it’s times like these I miss the closet
Similar to line 11, the speaker misses the time when they were closeted.
Some things were easier then
Life felt easier during that time.
When I could pretend
They could pretend to be someone else.
And it’s times like these I miss the numbness
They miss the feeling of emotional numbness.
Some things were easier then
Life seemed easier when emotions were suppressed.
When I could pretend
They could pretend to ignore or suppress emotions.
I wonder if she likes me back
The speaker wonders if someone they like feels the same way about them.
(I wonder if she likes me back)
Reiteration of the previous line, emphasizing the uncertainty.
I wonder if she likes me back
Reiteration, indicating persistent thoughts about the other person's feelings.
(I wonder if she likes me back)
Continued emphasis on the speaker's changed behavior and uncertainty.
I never used to be like that
Emphasizing the change in the speaker's past behavior.
I never used to be like that
Reiterating the change in the speaker's past behavior.
And it’s times like these I miss the closet
The speaker reiterates missing the easier times of being in the closet.
Some things were easier then
Highlighting the simplicity of life during the closeted period.
When I could pretend
They could pretend to be someone else during that time.
And it’s times like these I miss the numbness
The speaker misses the feeling of emotional numbness from the past.
Some things were easier then
Life felt simpler when emotions were suppressed.
When I could pretend
During that time, they could pretend to ignore or suppress feelings.
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