Dearly Beloved
Eternal Vows Unraveled
Lyrics
Good mornin' dearly beloved
Greeting the audience, likely at a wedding.
We are gathered here today
Referencing a traditional wedding phrase, setting the scene.
To watch two people we know
Observing familiar individuals making a significant error.
Make a big mistake
Implying marriage is a mistake for these individuals.
They'll stand up at the altar
Describing the wedding ceremony setting.
And solemnly swear "I do"
Expectation of vows being exchanged.
They'll be together forever
Belief that they'll be together forever.
'Til they find somebody new
Suggesting they'll eventually seek other partners.
Her daddy's in the front row
Noting the presence of the bride's father.
Mutterin' "Oh no, here we go again"
Expressing the father's concern or skepticism about the situation.
They had a couple dates
Indicating a short courtship leading to unexpected consequences.
Now she's three months late
Suggesting the bride is pregnant.
And it's twenty bucks a plate I spent, oh
Commenting on the wedding expenses.
Good mornin' dearly beloved
Repeating the greeting, emphasizing the occasion.
I'd like to welcome y'all
Welcoming everyone to witness the consequences of certain behaviors.
To see the side effects
Referring to the negative outcomes of certain actions.
Of sex and alcohol
Mentioning the impact of sex and alcohol on this situation.
Please bow your heads and join me
Inviting a prayer for the couple.
In a prayer for these two
Expecting a lasting commitment despite skepticism.
Who'll be together forever
Reiterating the idea of eventual separation.
'Til they find somebody new
(Blank line)
The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse
Describing the personalities of the bride and groom.
As he's putting the ring on her
Detailing the moment of exchanging rings.
He's checkin' out the bridesmaids
Noting the groom's wandering attention toward other women.
Thinkin' that he might take
Suggesting the groom's potential interest in someone else.
The maid of honor's honor, oh
Imagining the groom's infidelity.
Welcome dearly beloved
Addressing the audience again.
We are here this afternoon
Clarifying the purpose of the gathering.
To throw rice as these two
Symbolic gesture of wishing misfortune on the couple.
Drive down the road to ruin
Describing their path towards failure.
With cans tied to the bumper
Traditional wedding car decorations.
And a draggin' muffler too
Depicting a troubled journey ahead.
They'll be together forever
Reiterating the belief in their future separation.
'Til they find somebody new
(Blank line)
So raise your glass and join me
Raising a glass in celebration despite the expected outcome.
Here's to the bride and groom
Expressing best wishes despite the skepticism.
They'll be together forever
Reaffirming the prediction of future separation.
'Til they find somebody new
Continuing the theme of eventual separation.
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