Zelda Goldman Vs. Charlie Graham
Zelda's Verdict: A Musical Roast and Chilling Twist
Lyrics
Mom said I'm still too young to watch this thriller
Mom advises against watching a thriller due to age.
But Rachel's gone, I'll have her back watch me plot twist this sister!
Expressing confidence in overcoming challenges to bring back Rachel.
You'll choke on a beat if you can't chug processed beans
Struggling with handling the rhythm if unable to consume processed beans.
In school we had to draw people like you in the drug project week
Referencing a school project where drawing individuals like the listener was part of drug education.
You're a conjured monster from young nature
Labeling the listener as a created monster from a young age.
I'll drop this beat like your dumbwaiter
Promising to drop a musical beat as if discarding something unimportant.
I'd tinker with you but this toy is bendy
Considering the listener as a toy that can't be manipulated easily.
You look like the logo of a Soyboy Wendy's
Mocking the listener's appearance, comparing it to a logo associated with soy-based products.
People don't dig it, not even your grave, but I'm sure you got some bones to crack
Asserting that the listener lacks popularity, even in death, but suggesting they have vulnerabilities.
Not even the Pet Sematary could bring her audience back
Dismissing the idea that even a supernatural force like the Pet Sematary could revive the listener's audience.
Charlie? is that you, for god's sake?
Recognizing the listener as Charlie and expressing confidence in defeating them easily.
I guess defeating you will be a piece of cake
Suggesting that defeating Charlie is simple.
What is there left to learn from a 2018 flick?
Questioning the relevance and value of learning from a 2018 film.
You tried fucking up the people but it just didn't click
Pointing out the listener's failure in negatively influencing people.
Wrap your head around your own business
Advising the listener to focus on their own affairs.
Are the ants in your head gonna fix your fidget?
Questioning if the listener's restless thoughts can solve their fidgeting problem.
Craving annoyance, you don't know the limit
Accusing the listener of seeking irritation without understanding limits.
Til signs it your head like: "No kids in the kitchen!"
Describing consequences until the message is clear, resembling a warning sign.
Sometimes dead is better! They're erasing your place
Emphasizing that sometimes death is preferable, erasing the listener's significance.
I'm sure your life was full of pressure, with that face on your... face
Mocking the listener's appearance again and speculating on their life challenges.
You're one to talk 'bout being bedridden, time to lift the curtains
Asserting the listener's hypocrisy regarding being bedridden and urging them to change.
You beg to live inside that family tree house of burdens
Commenting on the burdensome nature of the listener's family treehouse.
This brat wants attention but we know nobody missed her
Noting the listener's desire for attention despite being unmissed.
If you wanna flip birds, I'm gonna grab my scissors!
Threatening consequences if the listener continues inappropriate behavior.
What is my highlighted prime to you in those flashbacks
Reflecting on shared memories and asserting the lasting impact of the Legend of Zelda.
The Legend of Zelda will stay a link to the past!
Declaring the enduring significance of the Legend of Zelda in contrast to the listener's transience.
You're shaming the family, reason for mother's therapy
Accusing the listener of bringing shame to the family and causing the need for therapy.
Shit, for you it seems like getting roasted is hereditary
Observing that being roasted seems to run in the listener's family.
I'm waving down from heaven, your death was quite your destiny
Claiming that the listener's death was destined and referencing a pie-related incident.
That pie choked Charlie's pipes, we could call it a Chocolate Factory
Connecting the listener's fate to the choking incident involving Charlie and a Chocolate Factory pie.
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