Somewhere Between Happiness And The Bottom Of The Lake
Journey Through Loss: Reflections on Family, Grief, and Growth
Lyrics
I never got the chance to say goodbye
I never had the opportunity to bid farewell.
Let alone spend a day with
Not even to spend a day together.
You without a fight in
We had constant conflicts and disagreements.
The months leading up to the end of your life
In the months before your death.
We were both sick and bed-ridden
We were both unwell and confined to bed.
I remember that night
Recalling a specific night.
Momma said "Daddy is gone"
Mom informed me that Dad had passed away.
"I tried to wake him but he
She tried to wake him, but he wouldn't respond; his skin was cold.
Won't his skin was ice cold"
Called 911 using my phone.
Called 911 with my phone
Life changed abruptly with a phone call.
And with the blink of an eye
Reflecting on the sudden transition to adulthood.
My life changed I was grown
Questioning why I was left alone.
How could you leave me alone?
Expressing disregard for personal feelings.
Fuck what I feel bitch you
Your departure left my younger brother alone.
Left my lil brother alone
Mom sold everything to relocate us to the northeast.
Momma sold all that she owns
Despite this, I feel isolated once again.
Just to take brother and make a
Packed my belongings into my Ford Taurus.
New home in the north east coast
Observed the transformation of our family room while watching Boy Meets World.
Yet again I'm alone
Emphasizing the permanent loss of family unity.
Packed my belongings into my
Reflecting on the departure and freedom gained.
Ford Taurus and watched
Contemplating the past in a state of loneliness.
Boy meets world in what was our family room
Nostalgic about the familial setting that will never return.
(Never again will we sit all together)
Expressing the irreplaceable nature of family moments.
(Never again will we all live together)
Stressing the irreversible change in living arrangements.
You're (Gone, When you left I was free)
Your absence signifies freedom, but the haunting memories persist.
(Yet you still haunt me)
Haunted by the lingering impact of your departure.
(Sitting in the dark inside
Sitting in darkness within four white walls.
These four white walls, And I keep)
Reflecting on personal responsibility and mistakes.
(Thinking about how everything is
Contemplating the consequences of one's actions.
All my fault, And I think)
Questioning the reliability of previous knowledge.
(What happened to everything I
Reflecting on the indifference of others to personal struggles.
Thought I knew!?, And I think)
Contemplating the loss of understanding in relationships.
(Why would someone care if I don't!?)
Questioning the significance of one's existence to others.
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