Ektachrome
Overcoming Doubt: A Journey through Self-Discovery in 'Ektachrome'
Lyrics
Instead of sitting around I spent the whole night practicing how
Striving not to waste time and practicing communication skills.
To speak clear and loud cause I'm mumbling all the time
Feeling unclear while speaking and wanting to improve clarity.
Doubt came and slithered around and wound its way around my collar
Experiencing doubt that wraps around like a snake.
Some words were slipping out, constricted I complied
Struggling to express due to the pressure of limitations.
To a negative thought pattern that had manifestly altered my place in life
Being caught in negative thought patterns affecting life's direction.
Head over my shoulder when I should be looking forward and I know that's why
Continuously looking back instead of focusing on the future.
I misalign
Feeling misaligned or disconnected.
Where I am all the time
Not settled or present in the current situation.
Now look around they're gone
Observing the absence or departure of certain individuals.
Janitors are cleaning up
Janitors cleaning up, indicating an ending or closure.
I'm stuck in a rut
Feeling stuck in a routine or unproductive pattern.
Thinking about giving up
Contemplating giving up or abandoning something.
Maybe I'll find force of will
Hoping to find determination or strength of mind.
Instead of always starting over, getting sick of it
Feeling tired of constantly restarting something.
Always starting over and feeling like shit
Continuously starting anew but feeling awful about it.
And I'm feeling like shit
Expressing feeling terrible about the situation.
Out of my comfort zone I spent the whole night talking backward
Stepping out of one's comfort zone by communicating differently.
I thought I'd get along and peek inside their minds
Expecting to connect with others but struggling.
I'm drifting in and out the basement walls sure keep me stupid
Feeling mentally stagnant within familiar surroundings.
Ain't much to talk about and I used up all my lines
Running out of things to say or express.
Then you took Ektachrome photos, every shot was out of focus I
Noticing flaws in captured memories or experiences.
Could not help but notice that I looked so tired
Recognizing fatigue or weariness in one's appearance.
Everyone kept asking if I smoked too much or hadn't
Others questioning if there are issues like excessive smoking or lack of sleep.
Had much sleep that past week cause I looked so high
Appearing tired or high due to exhaustion or other reasons.
But I was losing touch, much to like I thought I would
Slowly losing connection or understanding of situations.
I'm still in that rut, thinking about giving up
Continuing to feel trapped in a monotonous cycle.
Maybe I'll find force of will
Hoping to discover inner strength to overcome challenges.
Instead of always starting over, getting sick of it
Feeling exhausted from constant restarts.
Always starting over and feeling like shit
Repetitive cycles causing a consistent feeling of misery.
Oh here it comes again
Anticipating the return of doubt affecting relationships.
Doubt restricting all of my relationships
Doubt hindering all interpersonal connections or associations.
Every year I'm older I miss all my friends
Regretting the loss of past friendships with advancing age.
I just can't keep up with them
Struggling to maintain relationships due to life's pace.
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