In the Care of No One
Navigating Life's Abyss: A Reflection on Pain and Resilience
Lyrics
I haven't lived through a day where I wasn't in pain
I've experienced constant pain every day of my life.
In so fucking long, it's insane
The duration of my suffering has been so long that it seems unreasonable.
And I'm starting to wonder why I still lay here and suffer
I question why I continue to endure this suffering and lay idle.
What is the point
Expressing a sense of purposelessness or lack of meaning in life.
Why do I live
Questioning the purpose of living.
I just feel like my life is a prison
Life feels like a confining and oppressive existence.
I've been on death row
Metaphorical reference to feeling condemned or trapped.
Anticipating the nothing
Expecting or awaiting a sense of nothingness.
I'm so fucking tired of complaining
Frustration with one's own tendency to complain about life.
I don't wanna whine
Expressing a desire to avoid self-pity or constant complaints.
There is no endgame
Life lacks a clear goal or purpose.
No justice for a world self-destructive
Observation on a world that seems to destroy itself without justice.
To each and every living being that it contains
Reflecting on the suffering endured by all living beings.
I'm just grateful I never knew
Gratitude for not being aware of potential dangers in the past.
Where the gun was hidden in my friends' parents' houses
Recalling hidden dangers or threats in friends' homes.
There are so many versions of my life
Contemplating alternate realities where this song was never written.
Where I'm never writing this song
Imagining versions of life where the current situation is avoided.
So many versions of my life where I'm no longer here at all
Considering scenarios where the narrator is absent from life.
I've always felt like a regular person being burned alive
Feeling like an ordinary person enduring intense suffering.
By a fire that no one else can see
Metaphorically burning alive without visible external cause.
The only war I'll ever choose to fight
Choosing to fight an internal battle against negative thoughts or voices.
Will be against the voices on the inside
Identifying internal voices that are detrimental to well-being.
That don't have my well-being in mind
Recognition that internal voices may not prioritize one's well-being.
Nobody tells you
Highlighting the lack of awareness about the nature of suffering.
Suffering isn't just a thing that happens to you
Suffering is not merely an external occurrence but a personal responsibility.
It's a responsibility
Acknowledging that suffering shapes who we are.
We become reflections of all the hurt embedded within us
We reflect the pain embedded in us, becoming a product of our suffering.
It's not always easy to turn that into kindness
Converting this internal hurt into kindness is challenging.
Lord knows it's not always easy
Admitting the difficulty of consistently embodying kindness.
To convert your pain into kindness
Expressing the challenge of transforming personal pain into acts of kindness.
The exchange rates are simply ridiculous
Humorous reference to the difficulty of exchanging personal pain for kindness.
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