it's not even worth it
Navigating Chaos: If You Say So's Reflection on Life's Unexpected Turns
Lyrics
I'm fumbling through the thoughts I've had for several dozen weeks
I'm struggling with thoughts that have occupied my mind for several weeks.
About ten thousand thinks an hour
I have about ten thousand thoughts per hour, making it difficult to find mental peace.
I can't force myself to sleep
I cannot make myself sleep, indicating a state of restlessness or inner turmoil.
Or breathe
Expressing difficulty in breathing, possibly a metaphor for feeling suffocated or overwhelmed.
I'm barely even holding onto sanity
I am barely holding onto my sanity, suggesting a precarious mental state.
But I did this to myself
Acknowledging personal responsibility for the current situation or emotional state.
I need to take responsibility
Recognizing the need to take responsibility for one's actions and their consequences.
Lately
Expressing recent emotional distress and apologizing for it.
I'm just a wreck and I'm sorry
Admitting to being emotionally overwhelmed and expressing remorse.
Thought I had control but then life came out of nowhere and
Thoughts of having control over life disrupted unexpectedly.
Knocked me right on my ass without stopping
Life's challenges hitting hard and without warning.
I'll sober up and take the wheel
Committing to sobriety and taking control to hide internal pain.
So you can't tell how bad I feel inside
Attempting to mask deep emotional pain from others.
I filled up every moment
Filling every moment of my life, avoiding idle time.
Of the days I used to waste
Prioritizing productivity over wasting time, but still feeling unfulfilled.
Except for years I've kept on going without taking any break
Continuing without breaks, possibly neglecting self-care or personal well-being.
And I wish that I could tell you that it's easy staying sane
Expressing a desire to convey that maintaining mental health is not easy.
So many humans do
Observing that many people find it easy to stay mentally stable.
I guess that, I'm just not the same as them
Acknowledging a sense of difference or uniqueness in mental experiences.
There must be something wrong inside my brain
Suspecting an internal issue affecting mental well-being.
'Cause lately
Expressing current dissatisfaction with life's circumstances.
Things are just fucked and I'm sorry
Acknowledging the messed-up nature of current situations and apologizing again.
Thought I knew what I wanted but look where it got me
Reflecting on past decisions and realizing they led to an undesirable outcome.
Right on my ass but the world is not stopping
Despite setbacks, the world continues, emphasizing the need to regain control.
I'll sober up and take the wheel
Committing to sobriety again to hide internal struggles.
So you can't tell how bad I feel inside
Continuing efforts to conceal deep emotional pain from others.
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