I'm Not Mad
Unraveling Love's Echoes
Lyrics
You don’t want to be saved
You are resistant to being rescued or helped.
I tried to be your savior
I attempted to be your savior.
Can’t fix a broken man
It's impossible to repair a damaged person.
With loneliness and anger
Your brokenness is characterized by solitude and anger.
Begged to be the answer to your prayers
I pleaded to be the solution to your prayers.
I needed you to need me
I needed you to depend on me.
When I tried so hard to only see the good
Despite my efforts to focus on the positive, I couldn't ignore your warning signs.
Your red flags couldn’t warn me
Your evident problems or issues didn't alert me.
I’m not mad at what you did to me
I don't harbor resentment for what you did to me.
I’m not mad at you at all
I don't harbor resentment towards you at all.
But I must be mad, as mad as I can be
Despite not being angry, I acknowledge a level of madness or intense emotion.
I at least was mad enough to fall
My intensity of emotion was sufficient for me to fall into the situation.
I knew that things were wrong
I sensed that things were amiss.
Refused it coming
I resisted acknowledging the inevitable.
The fear to face an end
The fear of confronting an end prevented both of us from loving.
Stopped us both from loving
We stopped loving each other.
Learned to play our old songs by myself
I learned to play our old songs by myself.
Now that I can listen to them
Now I can listen to them without you.
And separate the music from the man
I can separate the music from the person who introduced me to it.
Who introduced me to it
You introduced me to the music.
I’m not mad at what you did to me
I don't harbor resentment for what you did to me.
I’m not mad at you at all
I don't harbor resentment towards you at all.
But I know I’m mad, I’m only mad at me
I recognize that I'm angry, specifically at myself.
Mad that I was mad for you at all
I'm angry that I allowed myself to be mad for you at all.
I miss the days before the fights
I long for the days before our conflicts.
When you held me through the night
When you comforted me throughout the night.
The smell of your cologne
The scent of your cologne lingers.
On every sweater I owned
It's imprinted on every sweater I own.
But I put them through the washer
I attempted to cleanse them in an effort to eliminate the danger.
Tried to wash out all the danger
I tried to wash away the risk of returning to you.
Of running back to you
However, I can't forget the January morning.
But I know I can’t forget
I can't erase the memory of waking up in your bed.
That January morning
The person I knew was gone on that January morning.
Waking up in your bed
In an instant, the situation changed.
The man I knew was gone
I had to move on from the person you used to be.
In the blink of an eye
Rapidly, without warning.
And I had to move on
I had to move forward with my life.
So I’m not mad at what you did to me
I don't harbor resentment for what you did to me.
I’m not mad at you at all
I don't harbor resentment towards you at all.
But I know I’m mad, I’m only mad at me
I recognize that I'm angry, specifically at myself.
Mad that I still think of you each Fall
I'm angry that I still think of you each Fall.
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