Language or the Kiss
Navigating Life's Crossroads: A Poetic Tale of Choices and Longing
Lyrics
I don't know if it was real or in a dream
Uncertainty whether an experience was real or a dream
Lately waking up I'm not sure where I've been
Feeling disoriented upon waking, unsure of recent experiences
There was a table set for six and five were there
A table set for six, but only five present
I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair
Noticing an empty chair, feeling disconnected
And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
Condensation on windows, symbolic of cooking or warmth
Laughter like a language I once spoke with ease
Remembering laughter that used to come easily
But I'm made mute by the virtue of decision
Being silenced by choices made, unable to express
And I choose most of your life goes on without me
Choosing a path where most of life moves forward without involvement
Oh the fear I've known
Experiencing fear of receiving admiration from strangers
That I might reap the praise of strangers
Fear of gaining praise but ultimately being alone
And end up on my own
Realization that efforts have resulted in just a song
All I've sown was a song
Doubting previous beliefs about the outcomes of actions
But maybe I was wrong
Questioning the correctness of prior assumptions
I said to you the one gift which I'd adore
Expressing desire for a gift - the future unfolding
The package of the next 10 years unfolding
Being cautioned about potential boredom from having control over time
But you told me if I had my way I'd be bored
Realizing love for someone based on their criticism
Right then I knew I loved you best born of your scolding
Recalling a past conversation while lying down
When we last talked we were lying on our backs
Shared experience of looking at the sky, intimate moment
Looking at the sky through the ceiling
Recollecting similar solitary moments trying to find meaning in stars
I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
Understanding emotions through symbols or signs
Trying to read the Greek upon the stars
Recognizing early signs of inevitable pain accompanying joy
The alphabet of feeling
Noticing similarities in someone's voice over time
Oh I knew back then
Feeling isolated in a hotel room
It was a calling that said if joy then pain
Seeking something that seems unattainable, despite efforts
The sound of the voice these years later
Starting to address personal fears and anxieties
Is still the same
Desiring what matters most, regretting missed opportunities
I am alone in a hotel room tonight
(Continuation of feeling alone in a hotel room)
I squeeze the sky out but there's not a star appears
Feeling unsuccessful in finding solace or guidance
Begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
Starting to confront fears and uncertainties
And I'm working through the grammar of my fears
Struggling to understand and overcome personal fears
Oh mercy what I won't give
Willingness to sacrifice for what truly matters
To have the things that mean the most
Desiring meaningful things, not just things missed
Not to mean the things I miss
Reflecting on the difficulty of the choice between words and actions
Unforgiving the choice still is
Emphasizing the unforgiving nature of the ongoing decision
The language or the kiss
The ongoing struggle between communication and physical affection
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