Control
Unveiling the Battle Within: Ivory Rasmus's Struggle for Control
Lyrics
I just lost control again
Expressing a lack of control over oneself again
Whenever you're in need of help
When you require assistance
You keep it to yourself
Keeping your problems and needs private
Whenever love is getting close you go to someone else
When intimacy approaches, seeking comfort from others
Sometimes the things I do I know are done to spite my health
Aware that certain actions are harming one's well-being deliberately
Not sure that I can tell you why myself
Uncertain about the reasons behind one's actions
You look like you've been sitting living in a perfect hell
Appearing to have endured a difficult existence
They see the real you through the cracks in your imperfect shell
People perceive your authentic self despite external appearances
I dont think it's something you can quell by the time you tell
Seemingly not something that can be suppressed immediately upon disclosure
We all saw the writing on the wall
A warning sign was evident previously
So we just kept distance
Maintaining distance without putting up resistance
Zero resistance
Significant change in attitude or behavior observed
The change in tone's some shit I called
Recognizing a change in communication tone but feeling unheard
It shows you're not listening
Perceiving a lack of attention or consideration
Are we worth fixing?
Questioning if the relationship is worthy of repair
You made yourself into my only escape
Dependence on someone as the sole escape from difficulties
My being open was my only mistake
Regretting being vulnerable, considering it a mistake
I'm so hurt I changed to disguise it
Masking emotional pain by altering behavior
These actions long term turned to violence
Actions stemming from past trauma leading to aggressive behavior
I turned all my trauma into fuel for my passion
Transforming past suffering into motivation for creative endeavors
Spited my depressions, now I'm farther than imagined
Defying depression to achieve beyond expected outcomes
Sometimes I still get lost in all the ways my world collapsed around me
Occasionally feeling overwhelmed by past hardships
You can never fail if you win every time you're crashing
Perceiving failure as a constant part of success
I'm laughing, you thought you put me out cus I'm reacting
Reacting in an unexpected way, seemingly unfazed by attempts to harm
My insignificance has left me nothing to lose
Feeling insignificant, leading to a sense of having nothing to lose
Gimme remorse,
Requesting to feel regret or guilt
Give me a hit unforced
Seeking an experience without external pressure
I got plenty bounds to morph
Plenty of room to transform or change
Ill do it all from my porch bitch
Willing to confront challenges from a position of stability
Got up from the floor
Recovering from a low point and demonstrating improvement
And showed yall how to be more
Setting an example of growth and improvement
My numbers are high scores
Personal achievements perceived as significant
You're stuck on high school shit
Criticizing others for immaturity or past behavior
I said let me find your lead
Asking to be shown the way, admitting a desire for selfish gain
Call it greed, but I need this
Describing a necessity driven by personal ambition
Hated how they feed into all but me
Displeasure with others' attention or support, feeling excluded
It's like it's made so I change when it pleases
Feeling manipulated or changed by external circumstances
Started breaking down when I'd finally seen it
Breaking down emotionally after realizing a truth
Somehow through all this you maintain control
Maintaining composure despite challenges
Comment