All This Time
Unveiling Hidden Pains: All This Time by Jen Foster
Lyrics
Won't you please tell me just where you're going
Expressing a desire to know the destination or purpose of the other person's actions.
I'm on edge with this uncertainty
Feeling anxious and unsettled due to the lack of certainty or clarity.
I know I have made it hard to get to know me
Acknowledging that the speaker has created difficulties in allowing others to understand them.
It's terrifying you may not like what you see
Expressing fear that revealing oneself may lead to a negative reaction from the other person.
And I know that you would love to break me down
Acknowledging the desire of the other person to criticize or emotionally break down the speaker.
But some things are just too hard to talk about
Highlighting the difficulty in discussing certain topics openly.
All this time I've been lyin', been lyin' to you
Admitting to a prolonged period of deception or dishonesty towards the other person.
So afraid that you'd leave me if you knew the truth
Fearing potential rejection if the truth is revealed to the other person.
All this time I've been tryin' to reach out to you
Expressing an ongoing effort to connect emotionally with the other person.
All this time I've been lyin', where you goin', where you goin'?
Reiterating the deception and questioning the destination or purpose of the other person.
Please don't leave, I never meant to hurt you
Pleading with the other person not to leave and clarifying the lack of intention to cause harm.
I'm just locked up in this solitary pain
Describing a feeling of being imprisoned in emotional pain.
I learned young that keeping secrets is a virtue
Indicating early learning that keeping secrets is considered a positive quality.
What happened to me - I can't bring myself to say
Referring to a traumatic event without explicitly disclosing details.
And I know that if I say it, it is true
Acknowledging the power of words to make the mentioned event a reality.
And I'm scared that you would leave me if you knew
Expressing fear of rejection if the truth is disclosed to the other person.
All this time I've been lyin', been lyin' to you
Repeating the admission of a prolonged period of deception towards the other person.
So afraid that you'd leave me if you knew the truth
Reiterating the fear of potential rejection based on the disclosure of the truth.
All this time I've been tryin' to reach out to you
Stating an ongoing effort to establish emotional connection with the other person.
All this time I've been lyin', where you goin', where you goin'?
Repeating the theme of deception and questioning the destination or purpose of the other person.
As you leave I say a quiet prayer for mercy
Expressing a silent plea for mercy as the other person departs.
One more time, just turn around and look at me
Requesting the other person to reconsider leaving and to acknowledge the speaker.
And as I pray, you say you never would desert me
Recalling a promise of loyalty from the other person and the speaker's emotional response.
"In fact, come with me I was just going out for groceries."
Unexpectedly offering an alternative plan and inviting the speaker along.
And the stars fade out in the sky tonight
Describing a moment of transition as darkness gives way to the light of dawn.
And the dawn breaks in and spreads the light
Symbolizing a new beginning or clarity emerging with the arrival of daylight.
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