Lyrics
Had a dream I was drinking
Expressing a dream where the singer was drinking.
Woke up and I was
Realizing upon waking up that the dream was not reality.
Living useless like
Feeling purposeless, akin to bullets in a neglected gun.
Bullets in a rusted gun
Metaphorically describing a state of decay and neglect.
I Drifted off hopeful
Experiencing hope after a prolonged period of despair.
It was the first time in months
Noting the rarity of hopeful feelings in recent months.
Well the late-night lies harder than
Comparing the difficulty of facing reality to the challenge of late-night lies.
The warmth of getting drunk
Highlighting the harshness of reality compared to the comfort of intoxication.
On the hunt for a reason
Searching for a reason to leave a stagnant and burdensome love.
Got me leaving this dead-weight love
Deciding to leave a love that feels burdensome.
I won't feel the pain taking its place mama
Anticipating emotional numbness to replace the pain of leaving.
I'ma be way too numb
Expecting emotional detachment as a coping mechanism.
Digging a hole down
Symbolizing digging a hole as an aggressive commitment to staying.
I been aggressive about staying
Expressing determination to persevere through difficulties.
And I'ma be sitting 'till I come up with
Committing to staying until finding a justification for the situation.
Justification
Expressing the need for a valid reason to continue.
It ain't all hitting walls
Contrasting the idea that everything is difficult with moments of ease.
You just caught me feeling small
Acknowledging vulnerability and feeling small.
Keeping up just enough
Maintaining a facade of normalcy until one's struggles are not visible.
'Till you can't tell I don't do well
Masking personal challenges until they are indistinguishable.
Free
Desiring freedom.
Been living too damn free
Commenting on living too freely without restraint.
Off and on I'm tryna' reach him
Intermittently attempting to connect with something higher.
I keep my eye on that sky
Keeping an eye on aspirations but struggling with pride.
But I'm losing my grip from all of the pride
Losing control due to excessive pride.
That's let me get so high
Reflecting on how pride led to elevated states but now poses challenges.
It ain't all hitting walls
Reiterating that life has moments of ease amid challenges.
You just caught me feeling small
Acknowledging vulnerability and feeling small again.
Keeping up just enough
Maintaining a facade of normalcy until struggles are not visible again.
'Till you can't tell I don't do well
Masking personal challenges until they are indistinguishable again.
Free
Reiterating the desire for freedom.
Been livin' too damn free
Commenting on living too freely without restraint again.
I'd make it work if I could
Expressing a desire to make things work if possible.
Living want to want don't feel so good
Acknowledging that living without purpose does not feel good.
I may not find the right set of rules I'll
Uncertain about finding the right path and predicting potential failure.
Probably end up giving
Expecting to try again despite potential failure.
Another shot at living
Expressing a willingness to give life another chance.
Free
Reiterating the desire for freedom.
Been living too damn free
Commenting on living too freely without restraint again.
Free
Reiterating the desire for freedom.
Dependency I'm in deep
Acknowledging deep dependency on something.
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