Lyrics
I'll always try to see what you don't want me to see
I am determined to uncover things you wish to keep hidden
So you can give up on trying
You can stop making an effort, as I persist in discovering
I haven't really been myself
I haven't been true to myself
I've been ignoring my health, watching too many movies
Neglecting my well-being, engrossed in excessive movie watching
I see you in my daydreams
You appear in my daydreams
I see you when I don't wanna see
I see you even when I prefer not to
My futures a fucking joke, wishing everyone would choke
My future seems hopeless, desiring misfortune for everyone
On their internet freedom
Wishing harm on internet freedom
I'm not running from my past
I'm not avoiding my past
I letting it sit in my lap and I hear it purr so loud
I'm letting it linger, finding comfort, and hearing it vividly
I see you in my daydreams
You appear in my daydreams
I see you when I don't wanna see
I see you even when I prefer not to
How one face can turn my mind into paste
A single face has a profound impact, overwhelming my thoughts
Turn my blood into sand
Transforming my essence into something granular like sand
Turn me into lifeless itself
Reducing me to a lifeless state
I bleed
I experience pain
Internationally
Globally
For everyone to see
For everyone to witness
Not that I need you
Not that I depend on you
But peace
But seeking tranquility
I am not your friend, I don't have any friends
I am not socially connected, devoid of friends
I am my only friend. I don't need any friends
I am self-reliant, not in need of companionship
And when I turn into dirt
Upon my demise, I desire your emotional distress
I hope your feelings are hurt
So I can find peace
And I can Rest In Peace
I can hear you in my daydreams
I hear you in my daydreams
I can hear you when you don't even speak
I hear you even when you are silent
I try to turn into words
Attempting to transform into words
So I can scramble and learn and turn into a movie
So I can learn and evolve like a movie
But I'm not meant for a screen, I can't be anything
Unfit for the screen, unable to become anything
Even when I'm something else
Even when I adopt a different persona
I don't need you anyways
I don't require you in any case
I'll find another way to relate
I'll discover an alternative way to connect
But how you gleam, like my television screen
Your brilliance resembles my television screen
I can see it now but you're not a movie
I can perceive it, but you are not a scripted performance
I scream through these shots in my mind, I scream and I hide
I express myself through mental images, scream, and retreat
But I'm not an actor
Yet, I am not an actor
Now I can finally see
Now I comprehend
You don't need me
You don't require me
But maybe I need you
But perhaps I need you
It seems inspiration ain't free
Inspiration comes at a cost
And it's so hard to be
And it's challenging to navigate
When you're not a movie
Especially when life
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