Lyrics
When you're thinking out loud all the time
The individual frequently vocalizes their thoughts.
And you swear you're not talking to yourself
Despite speaking aloud, they deny conversing with themselves.
You tell yourself you're not insane
They reassure themselves of their sanity.
But you have to tell yourself every day
They remind themselves daily about their mental state.
Don't tell me that I've always been this way
Dismissing the idea that their current state is inherent.
It's not okay that I'm a little hazed
Accepting a degree of confusion or haziness in their life.
But it's okay to live life in a daze
Accepting a passive way of living despite haziness.
As long as you can keep yourself awake
As long as they remain alert, living in a daze is permissible.
My doctor says
Referring to advice from their doctor.
It's bitterness
Being advised that bitterness is restricting them.
That locks me down
Bitterness confines their actions or thoughts.
She calls me up
The doctor communicates or connects regularly.
And checks me in
Receiving professional assistance or treatment.
And calms me down
Being soothed or pacified by the doctor.
Oh she's always changing my mind
The doctor constantly influences their thoughts.
And every time I try to search my soul
Feeling discontented upon self-reflection.
I find that I'm not proud of who I am
Lacking pride in their identity.
And I think to myself at least I can be humble
Opting for humility despite dissatisfaction.
But it's no use to keep it all inside
Understanding the futility of internalizing emotions.
'Cause what's the point in making so much sense
Questioning the usefulness of making sense in certain situations.
When the grass is always greener on the fence
Recognizing the allure of what's unattainable.
And even my dreams are so empty so please don't tell me
Feeling unfulfilled even in dreams.
That you can make things right again
Rejecting the possibility of restoring things.
My doctor says
The doctor's reiterated advice on bitterness.
It's bitterness
Bitterness continues to confine their actions or thoughts.
That locks me down
The doctor's regular intervention.
She calls me up
Being brought under professional care.
And checks me in
Doctor's action to stabilize emotions.
And calms me down
Oh she's always changing my mind
Repetition of the doctor's influence on thoughts.
Oh she's always changing my mind
Continued impact of the doctor's guidance.
I am getting stitched into my bed
Feeling confined and immobilized metaphorically.
Well that's okay 'cause I'm already dead
Acceptance of a state akin to emotional death.
Cockroaches are melting in my brain
Experiencing disturbing or surreal thoughts.
I'm so glad I've finally gone insane
Expressing relief at reaching a state of perceived insanity.
My doctor says
The doctor's reiterated counsel on bitterness.
It's bitterness
Bitterness remains a constraining factor.
That locks me down
Regular intervention and advice from the doctor.
She calls me up
Receiving professional attention or care.
And checks me in
Doctor's action to pacify or stabilize.
And calms me down
Oh she's always changing my mind
Continued impact of the doctor's influence.
Oh she's always changing my mind
Reinforcement of the enduring impact of the doctor's guidance.
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