Payback
Echoes of Regret: Just Surrender's Emotional Payback
Lyrics
this is not a test, not a test
This situation is not a test or an examination.
don't carry any secrets
Don't hide any secrets or withhold information.
do you think that i can see you
Is the speaker questioning the visibility of the other person?
i know it's late i need you
Despite the late hour, the speaker expresses a need for the other person.
to open my chest, my chest
The speaker metaphorically asks the other person to open their emotional core.
fix whatever you need to be fixed
Fix whatever issues exist, as long as the speaker can be close to the other person.
so long as i can hold you
The speaker desires physical closeness and the ability to hold the other person.
breathe in rhythm with you
The speaker wants to synchronize their breathing with the other person.
its all that i've waited for
Being with the other person is what the speaker has been eagerly anticipating.
this is payback for all of the words
The speaker perceives the current situation as payback for past emotional neglect.
that never meant enough to keep me concerned
References words that were not meaningful enough to maintain the speaker's interest.
every homesick letter that never had the strength to find your door
Letters expressing homesickness lacked the strength to reach the other person.
this is just enough to keep me concerned
The current situation is adequate to make the speaker concerned.
with every hope i had that you would return
The speaker had hopes for the other person's return, but those hopes were in vain.
and now i've learned that you've become everything i've once hated
The other person has transformed into everything the speaker once disliked.
still dependent
The speaker is still emotionally reliant on the other person.
this is torturous, torturous
The current situation is causing emotional torment for the speaker.
so close i can feel your touch
The other person's presence feels close enough to be tangible.
i'd be patient but i lust for you
Despite the speaker's patience, there is a strong desire for the other person.
i'll do anything you want me to
The speaker expresses a willingness to do anything the other person desires.
i'll be the best chance take you take
The speaker promises to be the best chance the other person could take.
lost in the rhythm our bodies lay
Both bodies are lost in the rhythm of their connection.
girl you know i lust for you
The speaker acknowledges a strong desire for the other person.
i'll do anything you want me to
Reiteration of the speaker's willingness to fulfill the other person's desires.
it's all that i've waited for
Reaffirmation that being with the other person is what the speaker has waited for.
this is payback for all of the words
Current circumstances are seen as a form of retribution for past emotional neglect.
that never meant enough to keep me concerned
Reiteration of words lacking meaning and homesick letters with no impact.
every homesick letter that never had the strength to find your door
Continued frustration over letters unable to reach the intended recipient.
this is just enough to keep me concerned
The present situation is just enough to cause the speaker concern.
with every hope i had that you would return
The speaker had hoped for the other person's return but faces disappointment.
and now i've learned that you've become everything i've once hated
Realization that the other person has become everything the speaker despised.
still dependent
Despite negative feelings, the speaker remains emotionally dependent.
and if all i can do
If waiting is all the speaker can do, they will continue until the end.
is just sit and wait for you
Expressing a sense of helplessness in the face of waiting for the other person.
then i guess i'll just be waiting till the end
The speaker acknowledges a willingness to wait until the end.
oh i guess i'll just be waiting till the end
A repetition of the speaker's resolve to wait until the conclusion.
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