Soil
Growing Amidst Shadows: A Journey Through Self-Reflection
Lyrics
(I promise I'm still growing)
I acknowledge personal growth is ongoing.
I don't think I wanna be friends with the voice in my head
Expressing discomfort with the inner critical voice.
I don't like what it says anymore
Disapproval of the current messages from within.
I don't wanna relive the mistakes that I made in the past
Avoidance of repeating past mistakes.
I'm not gonna look back anymore
Commitment to not dwell on the past.
But who knows, who knows
Uncertainty about the passage of time.
Where the time really goes
Reflecting on the mysterious nature of time.
Felt the highs and the lows
Experienced both highs and lows in life.
Give my life, give my soul
Willing to sacrifice life and soul for something.
Buried deep, six below
Symbolic reference to being buried or suppressed.
In the soil's where you grow
Highlighting growth in challenging circumstances.
I don't wanna live my life
Expressing reluctance towards a particular lifestyle.
I don't wanna live my life
Repetition for emphasis on not wanting a certain life.
If I gotta live my life
Reiterating the unwillingness to live without someone.
Without you
Emphasizing the difficulty of living without a specific person.
So right before I say goodbye
Preparing to say goodbye with uncertainty.
Convince myself that it's all lies
Attempting to convince oneself that negative thoughts are untrue.
Promise I won't let love die
Committing to preserving love despite challenges.
Without you
Reiterating the difficulty of living without a specific person.
Thinking bout the old days
Reflecting on past times when time seemed wasted.
When we used to waste time
Nostalgia for moments spent without a clear purpose.
Remember how it felt
Recalling the emotional experience of physical closeness.
With my hand on your waste-line
Describing a tactile connection with another person.
Now I'm counting on the drugs
Dependency on substances to maintain emotional stability.
To keep me at a baseline
Using drugs to establish a baseline emotional state.
And covering my face
Attempting to hide emotions during virtual communication.
While we talking on a FaceTime
Maintaining distance while engaging in a video call.
Reflections are unclear
Visual reflections are unclear, indicating inner confusion.
I can't find myself
Struggling to find one's true identity.
Tryna hide my fear
Attempting to conceal fear by projecting onto others.
Inside of someone else
Internal conflict with one's true self.
And all of the mistakes
Acknowledging past errors that were not addressed.
That I never dealt with
Reflecting on personal growth and change.
Don't when I changed
Uncertainty about the timing of personal transformation.
And became so selfish
Becoming self-centered and neglecting others.
I give advice that I won't take myself
Offering advice but struggling to follow it personally.
Daily fight against my mental health
Daily struggle with mental health challenges.
Shoot a smile cuz I'm overwhelmed
Putting on a facade to hide emotional overwhelm.
(I don't wanna show my feelings to ya)
Desire to keep emotions hidden from others.
Tried rejecting this reality
Trying to deny or escape from the current reality.
Guess I'm just another casualty
Identifying as a casualty, possibly of emotional struggles.
(Where did I go)
A reflection on personal disorientation or loss.
Ooh, somebody help
An urgent call for assistance or understanding.
(Is it Too Late?)
Expressing concern about the timing of seeking help.
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