Lyrics
I get you high, I tear you down
I induce a state of euphoria in you, and then I criticize and degrade you
But you still carry me around
Despite mistreatment, you continue to carry me with you
I break your heart and bruise your skin
I cause emotional pain and physical harm to you
I only feed you when you're thin
I provide sustenance only when you are thin
I hate your guts and curse your frame
I harbor intense dislike for you and condemn your body
I hide you when I feel ashamed
I conceal you when I feel embarrassed or ashamed
Countless times I've wished you'd change
I've wished for your transformation numerous times
But you grew stronger through my pain
Despite my harmful actions, you've become stronger
And I wish you'd never ached
I regret the pain you've experienced
At the hands of my escapes
Regretting the harm caused by my escapes or coping mechanisms
And the way I kill you slow to pass the time
I harm you slowly as a way to pass the time
And I should have never said
I acknowledge the mistake of expressing a desire for your death
I wish you were fuckin' dead
Expressing regret for not appreciating your strength and resilience
And I wish your strength was praised and recognized
Desiring recognition for your strength and positive qualities
Through wasted years, a useless chase
Reflecting on wasted years and a futile pursuit
Tryna shrink the space you take
Attempting to minimize the space you occupy in my life
You're precious art can't be replaced
Acknowledging the irreplaceable value of your existence
You are deserving of my grace
Acknowledging your deserving nature of compassion and forgiveness
You love me still, for I am you
You still love me despite my lack of gratitude
Despite my absent gratitude
Recognizing the wounds inflicted by my mistreatment
Your wounded from my own misuse
Acknowledging you as the victim of my abuse
The victim of all my abuse
Regret for the pain caused by my escapes or coping mechanisms
And I wish you'd never ached
Expressing regret for the harm caused to you
At the hands of my escapes
Regretting the harm caused by my escapes or coping mechanisms
And the way I kill you slow to pass the time
I harm you slowly as a way to pass the time
And I should have never said
Acknowledging the mistake of expressing a desire for your death
I wish you were fuckin' dead
Expressing regret for not appreciating your strength and resilience
And I wish your strength was praised and recognized
Desiring recognition for your strength and positive qualities
You are perfect, you are mine
Affirming your perfection and your connection to me
You're the body I'm assigned
Acknowledging that you are the body I inhabit
I know it's worth it to keep trying
Recognizing the value of persevering and loving yourself as designed
To love you how you've been designed
Committing to love you as you were intended to be loved
And all this time I wish I'd seen
Reflecting on the realization that you consistently fight for me
The way you always fight for me
Acknowledging your ongoing struggle for my well-being
Your purpose is my own well-being
Recognizing your purpose in contributing to my well-being
I should appreciate those things
Expressing the need to appreciate and value your contributions
And I wish you'd never ached
Expressing regret for the harm caused to you
At the hands of my escapes
Regretting the harm caused by my escapes or coping mechanisms
And the way I kill you slow to pass the time
I harm you slowly as a way to pass the time
And I should have never said
Acknowledging the mistake of expressing a desire for your death
I wish you were fuckin' dead
Expressing regret for not appreciating your strength and resilience
And I wish your strength was praised and recognized
Desiring recognition for your strength and positive qualities
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