Lyrics
We talk about nothing
We engage in conversations without substance
With eyes glazing over
Our eyes become unfocused and distant
Touching so lightly
We touch each other gently
Afraid we will break
Fearful that our connection is fragile and might shatter
But when all your are given
All that is given to us is delicate and weak
Is something so feeble
A slight touch can cause pain or harm
The slightest caress can make you bleed
Even the gentlest caress can lead to bleeding
I wake up one day and it feels like returning
One day, waking up feels like returning, but there's a disconnect
But I feel like this body’s not mine
A sense that the body doesn't belong or feels unfamiliar
Where there used to be wings and feathers
What used to be wings and feathers has transformed into nettle and bone
There are arms made of nettle and bone
An image of being constrained and entangled
All tied up in twine
Everything tied up intricately
You say that it’s nothing
You dismiss issues as nothing
And you look like you mean it
You appear sincere, but there's a subtle change in your voice
But this time your voice wilts a bit
Your voice shows signs of wilting or vulnerability
So I just go back to singing
Returning to familiar patterns like singing swan songs
Your favorite swan songs
Repeating cycles, questioning if this is the way to live
Is this how we’ve learned how to live
Reflecting on whether this is the learned way of living and loving
We hold hands on Sundays in front of your parents
We display affection in front of family, hiding underlying issues
Hoping they won’t see the cracks
Hoping to conceal the problems from your parents
I was so blind by the blush of a new love
Blinded by the excitement of a new love
I cry in the bathroom not knowing how to get it back
Feeling lost and crying without a clear solution
I say that I’m tired
Claiming fatigue as an excuse to avoid conversation
So we don’t have to carry a conversation
Both parties avoiding the need for a meaningful conversation
Neither of us wants
A mutual desire to escape from conversation
We’ve become whispers
Transforming into mere whispers in the background
Lingering in doorways
Lingering in the shadows, becoming like ghosts
Is this how we’ve learned how to haunt
Reflecting on whether this is the learned way of haunting
We sit at a table in a room filled with people
Sitting in a room with people but allowing silence to become a threat
We’ve let silence become a threat
Letting the absence of communication become problematic
You reach for my hand
An attempt at connection, but there's a hesitation or withdrawal
And I flinch just a bit
A subtle reaction to physical touch, indicating discomfort
I don’t think I can let you touch me yet
Expressing an inability to allow further intimacy
You pull away
Pulling away after the failed attempt at connection
And you look at the ceiling as if
Contemplating the loss and its significance
What we’ve lost has risen up above
Suggesting that what is lost has elevated beyond reach
You look back down and I look away
Avoiding eye contact as a coping mechanism
Is this how we’ve learned how to love
Questioning whether this is the learned way of experiencing love
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