When Insomnia, Do As The Somniacs Do
Insomniac Reflections: A Midnight Journey of Self-Discovery
Lyrics
Of sculptures, where cracks form where there were none before
Reflecting on imperfections in life, likened to cracks in sculptures.
Of painstaking detail wrecked by pressure, where I focus on the flaws
Focusing on flaws in meticulous work ruined by external pressures.
And I don't mean to stare, but it's all I see. Is that how I'm seen?
Feeling observed and wondering if one's flaws define how others perceive them.
Of midnight hours striking heart through pen to page
Capturing emotional moments during late-night creative endeavors.
Of exhaustion creeping in and to common sense laying waste
Tiredness overcoming rational thinking and causing destruction.
And like the one that got away but who can't remember my name
Recalling a lost connection, someone who doesn't remember the speaker.
As an old friend who sits too far away on the train
Describing a distant friend on a train journey.
Rest avoids my gaze and passes me by again
Rest eludes the speaker, repeating the feeling of being overlooked.
This isn't disaffection, I'm just finding my feet
Explaining personal growth rather than disaffection.
My best doesn't cut it but what do you expect from me?
Expressing frustration at not meeting expectations.
If I don't know who I am, how can I have someone I want to be?
Questioning identity and the ability to aspire without self-awareness.
I rack my brain for answers, I panic, I lose sleep
Struggling with self-doubt, anxiety, and sleeplessness to find answers.
In 10 years' time, where will you be?
Contemplating the future and the changes it brings in a decade.
How much will be left of the familiar scenery?
Concerns about the transformation of familiar surroundings over time.
In 10 days' time, where will you be?
Considering short-term future uncertainties and anxieties.
"Leave me alone," I say in my times of need
Seeking solitude during challenging times, masking a plea for help.
"I can't do this on my own," is what I really mean
Expressing vulnerability and the internal conflict of independence.
"Let me do this on my own," is all you hear from me
Asserting independence while struggling internally with loneliness.
My temples throb, I'm still awake, it overwhelms me
Experiencing physical and mental strain, symbolized by throbbing temples.
Whispers carried on an Autumn breeze
Imagining communication through subtle whispers, possibly lost connections.
Like Autumn leaves, the ones I love fall away from me
Metaphorically losing loved ones like leaves falling in Autumn.
I'm losing dreams, it all shifts to somewhere that I can't reach
Feeling detached from dreams and aspirations, out of reach.
Wisterias wilted with wistful wishes underneath
Using wisterias to symbolize faded hopes and wishes.
Tragic and I bleed
Expressing internal pain and suffering.
Call me Op. 13 "Pathétique"
Comparing oneself to Beethoven's "Pathétique" Sonata, indicating emotional intensity.
I've got it on repeat to help me sleep
Repeating a piece of music as a coping mechanism for sleeplessness.
With God as witness, I try my best to keep my weaknesses inside
Struggling to keep vulnerabilities hidden, seeking divine strength.
With God as witness, I try my best to keep my weaknesses inside
Repeating the desire to conceal weaknesses with divine assistance.
But what use is a witness who won't testify?
Questioning the value of a witness who doesn't speak out about one's struggles.
My ceiling fan pirouettes robotic at a constant speed
Observing a ceiling fan's repetitive motion, possibly symbolizing monotony.
Posters all around my room of people who inspire me
Surrounded by inspirational figures, emphasizing personal inadequacy.
They remind me more than ever how they all succeed
Comparing oneself to successful figures, highlighting feelings of failure.
And I'm still me
Acknowledging continuity despite internal struggles and external influences.
At the time of writing, it's 4:16AM. Again
Noting the late-night hour and the persistent battle with insomnia.
In 10 days' time, this is where you'll find me again, again, ah...
Anticipating a repetitive cycle of insomnia in the near future.
Of knuckles brushing woodwork, splinters seeding in the skin
Describing physical pain as knuckles encounter splinters.
Of all attempts to extract them exercises in pushing in
Reflecting on futile attempts to address problems, possibly causing more harm.
And I don't mean to pick, but they don't belong
Expressing a desire to distance from intrusive thoughts or elements.
I don't belong
Feeling a sense of not fitting in or belonging.
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