Grieving
Echoes of Heartbreak: Numbness, Regret, and the Fragility of Moving On
Lyrics
I’m so numb I can’t feel anything at all
I’m emotionally numb and unable to feel anything.
Wanna kick myself for letting myself call
Regretful about making the call to hear your voice.
After 6 long months I had to hear your voice
After half a year, hearing your voice intensifies my pain.
But now it’s worse, I’m at my breaking point
Current emotional state is worsening, reaching a breaking point.
At this rate I’d do anything to be
Willing to do anything to revert to a previous state of being.
Half of who I was before you left me
Desire to return to a state of being only half affected by your departure.
I could feel myself so close to being whole
Close to feeling complete before your departure.
But now I’m just an empty broken bottle
Currently feeling empty and shattered like a broken bottle.
And I don’t wanna miss you
Expressing a reluctance to miss you despite the emotional pain.
I tell myself it’s easier to just stay mad
Choosing anger as a coping mechanism instead of missing you.
They keep telling me to let myself grieve
People advise allowing oneself to grieve, but it seems challenging.
But grieving won’t ever bring you back
Recognizing that grieving won't bring you back despite the advice.
You were the worst and best I ever had
Acknowledging a complex relationship – the best and worst experienced.
I wanna burn the letters that you send
Expressing a desire to destroy the reminders of your existence.
But they’re the only thing of you that I have left
Struggling with the conflicting emotions of holding on to your letters.
So I’ll tuck them away inside some dresser drawer
Deciding to keep the letters, preserving them for a later, less painful time.
To save and read when I’m not hurting anymore
Planning to revisit the letters when the emotional pain has subsided.
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