Knock On Wood
Unveiling Self-Reflection: Lola Balter's Knock On Wood
Lyrics
The harder I try, the less it does for me
The more effort I put in, the less it benefits me.
I have everything I could ever want, but I don't have what I need
I possess everything I desire, but I lack essential needs.
I could say I was dumb, but I know that I'm just weak
I might claim ignorance, but I acknowledge my own vulnerability.
People told me I should've held on to my self-esteem
Advice suggests I should have preserved my self-worth.
I can't knock on wood four times
I can't rely on luck or positive outcomes.
I can't be your savior again
I cannot be your rescuer once again.
I can't be the mattress you fall back on
I cannot be the constant support you return to.
If it means I never get to stand
If it means sacrificing my independence.
When all there is are eyes on me
When everyone's attention is on me.
I hope I do something that wasn't planned
I wish to do something spontaneous and unscripted.
And you all get to see
And for you all to witness it.
What I do for you in a split second
Performing acts for you in an instant.
I hope you know
I hope you understand.
I still haven't learned my lesson
I haven't grasped the lesson despite experiences.
I can't knock on wood four times
I cannot rely on luck or positive outcomes consistently.
I can't be your savior again
I cannot be your rescuer once again (repeated).
I'll be damned
Expressing frustration or surprise, possibly about the situation.
If I'm still alive by 21
If I haven't found purpose or meaning by age 21, it's concerning.
You know life's not fair
Life seems unjust when self-hatred is prevalent.
When you hate yourself this much
Struggling with a significant dislike for oneself.
If it's all laid out in front of me
If everything is clear and obvious, I choose the easiest path.
I'll always take the easy way out
Opting for the simplest solution when faced with challenges.
Take a left turn when you can't stand to be right
Choosing a different path when the right one is unbearable.
I'm driving alone with broken headlights
Driving alone with damaged headlights, metaphorically suggesting a lack of direction.
I can't knock on wood four times
Reiterating the inability to rely on luck or positive outcomes.
And I'm so sick of doing it all for someone else
Fed up with doing everything for others.
Tell me, what would happen if I did it for me?
Questioning the outcome if actions were taken for personal satisfaction.
I'm not that little anymore
Asserting personal growth and maturity.
I'm not who I could be
Recognizing the divergence from potential selves.
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