Lyrics
When I fell you weren't there to catch me
Feeling abandoned when I needed support
You were a three hour drive away
You were physically distant while I struggled
Getting drunk and then sleeping at somebody else's place
You indulged in drinking and sleeping elsewhere
And you kept asking me for more space
You requested more space in our relationship
And I wondered how much more space can you want?
Questioning the extent of the space you desire
You haven't been a part of my life in months
You've been absent from my life for months
And still my grandfather asks about you every single time
Despite our distance, family inquires about you
And I sit there and I lie, saying you're fine, it's all fine
Faking that everything is fine when asked
But I'm dying on the inside, it's so scary up in my mind
Struggling internally, a sense of emotional pain
But you don't wanna hear none of that, no It's just making you mad, and I think
Your resistance to discussing deep emotions
I think you're losing what you can never get back
Belief that you're losing something irreversible
I think you're losing the best thing you ever did have
Losing the best relationship you ever had
I think you're losing your reason to believe
Losing faith or trust in the relationship
I think you're losing, I think you're losing me
Perception that you're losing the speaker
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like Without the ghost of you on my mind
Imagining life without the lingering influence of the person
Telling me I'm just playing the victim, as if you didn't
Accusations of playing the victim in the relationship
And you know I can take a lot of shit
Accepting difficulties but feeling undeserving of mistreatment
But you made me think I deserved it
Attributing self-worth issues to the influence of the person
You watched me lose my light, and that was your worst crime
Your actions led to the speaker's loss of vitality
And all my favorite things about me, the ones you made me hate
Developing resilience by embracing self-perceived flaws
I will wear them like armour
Turning personal strengths into a source of protection
And everything you didn't care to appreciate
Valuing aspects ignored by the person
I will love even harder, and God I really tried to
Committing to love more intensely despite hardships
Be more forgiving, but I find you in all of my darkest dreams
Struggling with forgiveness and haunted by memories
You showed me everything I never wanna be, and I think
Realization of the negative impact of the relationship
I think you're losing what you can never get back
Reiteration of the irreversible loss you're facing
I think you're losing the best thing you ever did have
Emphasizing the magnitude of the lost relationship
I think you're losing your reason to believe
Doubting the foundation of belief in the relationship
I think you're losing, I think you're losing me
Expressing the feeling of being lost in the relationship
And I'm losing too, I'm losing you
The speaker is also losing, but finding solace in self
But I still have me and that's why I think I'll be alright
Despite losses, the speaker believes in personal strength
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