Paint
Struggling for Perfection: A Canvas of Self-Transformation
Lyrics
I keep a book of my thoughts
I maintain a journal of my thoughts
In the front I take note when I'm feeling awful
In the beginning of the book, I record moments of distress
And in the back I write down
At the end of the book, I document times of confidence, beauty, or happiness
When I feel confident or beautiful or happy
I won't disclose which set of emotions is prevalent currently
I won't say which side is dominating now
I feel abandoned, akin to an orphan, following Old Testament themes
I'm Old Testament, all left out like an orphan
Living in worn-out clothing, symbolizing a challenging existence
Living in these tattered old rags
I embody a formidable presence, characterized by biblical proportions
I'm a beast defined in biblical proportions
The mere act of breathing around me is harmful
It's toxic just to breathe of my breath
I am covered in paint, symbolizing efforts to change myself
I'm dripping with paint
Despite attempts at transformation, the true self is still evident
Trying to change who I am
A desire to mold a flawless persona is expressed
But it still shows on my face
This aspiration is visible on my face
And I'm trying to create a perfect person
Striving to create an ideal person without inherent qualities
It doesn't run in my veins
Perfection does not naturally exist within me
I keep the walls of my room
The walls of my room are covered with posters from my past
Plastered with posters of bands I loved in high school
Reminders of high school bands, although I no longer listen to them
And haven't listened to since
No commitment to tattoos or piercings, indicating difficulty in decision-making
And I don't have tattoos
I acknowledge my lack of self-approval
I haven't even drilled through my ears in the bathroom
Dressed in black, I carry the pain of self-removal
It's just too hard to commit
The emotional intensity of that experience was unparalleled
I'm a testament to lack of self-approval
I am still covered in paint, indicating ongoing efforts to change
All dressed up in black
The transformation is evident in my appearance
My heart doth pump with pain of its removal
Pursuing the creation of a perfect self without a natural inclination
That beating was the best I ever had
Perfection is not an inherent part of me
I'm dripping with paint
Embracing silence as a newfound source of enjoyment
Trying to change who I am
Changes in how I perceive music, distancing from past experiences
But it still shows on my face
Struggling to create music while living vicariously through others
And I'm trying to create a perfect person
The paint, symbolizing change, is still evident
It doesn't run in my veins
Continuing efforts to sculpt an ideal persona without innate qualities
I'm starting to enjoy the silence
Perfection is not a natural aspect of my being
To not hear music how I used to
In my veins, symbolizing an intrinsic nature
It's a constant struggle trying to write it
Repeated emphasis on the presence of an intrinsic nature
When I've only lived vicariously through you
Embracing the flaws within me, acknowledging imperfections
I'm dripping with paint
Accepting the true self, flaws and all
Trying to change who I am
Despite efforts to change, the genuine self remains visible
But it still shows on my face
Continuing the quest to create an ideal self without inherent traits
And I'm trying to create a perfect person
Perfection is not a natural aspect of my being
It doesn't run in my veins
In my veins, symbolizing an intrinsic nature
In my veins, in my veins
Reiteration of the intrinsic nature residing within
In my veins
In my veins, emphasizing the inherent qualities that define me
In my veins, in my veins
Reiteration of the intrinsic nature residing within
In my veins
In my veins, emphasizing the inherent qualities that define me
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