Secondhand

Numbing Pleasures: Mack John's Struggle in a Digital World
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Lyrics

I watch reality TV

I use reality TV as a distraction.

To prevent me from crying

To avoid crying on emotionally challenging days.

On the days that I'm feeling

Expressing emotions that arise within me.

Something stirring inside me

Acknowledging inner turmoil or emotions.

I'd rather be numb

Prefer to feel emotionally detached or numb.

I stare at my phone

Engaging with my phone, perhaps as a distraction.


Scrolling past messages read

Reviewing messages, often not responding to them.

But they're seldom replied to

Messages are rarely answered, indicating detachment.

No, they don't charge me extra

No additional cost for not responding.

I just don't feel obliged

Not obligated to express my feelings in messages.

To type what I'm feeling

Choosing not to articulate my emotions.

When my mind is still reeling

Experiencing a turbulent mind.


I'm avoiding the issue

Avoiding addressing a particular issue.

But I promise I miss you

Acknowledging a missed connection with someone.


I'm guilty of pleasures that I find

Engaging in guilty pleasures.

You won't have to read between the lines if I

Implying transparency, no hidden meanings.

Quit the thinking

Choosing to stop overthinking.

Pour another drink

Using alcohol to cope or escape.

I'm feeling numb but pressured

Feeling both emotionally numb and pressured.

By my guilty pleasures

Pressure from indulging in guilty pleasures.


Holy smokes

An expression of surprise or realization.

I wanna buy a pack of cigarettes

Expressing a desire to buy cigarettes.

But I don't smoke

Clarifying a lack of smoking habit.

And so I'll have to find it secondhand

Seeking secondhand cigarettes due to non-smoking.

I want it crowded around me

Wanting a crowded environment.

Want my throat to be burning

Desiring a physically intense experience.

And my mouth will be open

Expressing a desire for openness without communication.

But you won't hear a word from me

Lack of verbal expression despite physical experience.


'Cause I'm avoiding the issue

Avoiding addressing a specific issue, reiterating.

But I promise I miss you

Repeating the admission of missing someone.


I'm guilty of pleasures that I find

Engaging in guilty pleasures, reiterated.

You won't have to read between the lines if I

Reiterating transparency in communication.

Quit the thinking

Reaffirming the decision to stop overthinking.

Pour another drink

Continuing to use alcohol as a coping mechanism.

I'm feeling numb but pressured

Experiencing emotional numbness under pressure.

By my guilty pleasures

Pressure stemming from guilty pleasures.

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